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Sisters In The Summer

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It’s quite amazing to watch your children grow and bond in front of your eyes. To see the love and hate each other in equal measures. To imagine the friendship that will be there in years to come.

Izzy and Chloe spend many hours squabbling and fighting, snatching toys and being jealous of every minute the other gets attention from us. Lately though I’ve seen a shift. Yes the anger and niggles are still there but there is a real relationship developing. They play together, pretending to be mothers and babies. They chat to each other and laugh at one another. It’s a real joy to see. The moments may not last long but they are there and they are becoming more frequent.

Sisters

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I’m sure there will be many ups and downs between them over the years and I know it will be challenging but for now I’m enjoying these moments.

Siblings – August

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Another month of my girls together. Growing up, growing closer and becoming friends. It’s been a very hard month of parenting – I won’t deny that but somehow looking at back at these photos lifts my spirits.

Izzy and Chloe have two sets of matching outfits – this is one of them. Well a matching patten anyway and they looked so cute together.

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Sometimes with all that is going on in her toddler world, Izzy doesn’t have as much time for Chloe but one time she is always excited to see her is in the morning. Sometimes I let her have Chloe in her bed for a quick cuddle before we get up:

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Sometimes if I’m lucky I will catch a moment like this when Izzy can’t stop herself from going in for a quick impromptu squeeze:

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I love the way Chloe looks at her sister in adoration.

And here are one or two quick pics from our recent trip to Camp Bestival:

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Dad snuck into this one too..

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I’m loving joining in on the Siblings linky each month and keeping an online photo diary of my girls growing up together. Why don’t you join in? Just click the badge below:

dear beautiful

Siblings – July

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Some months go by so quickly. The last 2-3 have really flown and both girls have grown so much. They are becoming thick as thieves and Izzy is really enjoying the fact that Chloe is big enough to play with now.

This photo captures the joy that Chloe gets from her time with her older sister and Izzy showing her caring side making sure she doesn’t fall off.

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It may not be the best photo I’ve ever taken but I love it.

dear beautiful

A Family of Four.. And No More.

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Over the past four years a lot has happened. Massively important, life changing moments such as moving in with my OH. Finding out I was pregnant on Izzy ( big shock ) Giving birth to Izzy. Watching her grow, walk, talk. Deciding to try for another baby. Finding out I was pregnant with Chloe. Giving birth to her. Watching her start to grow. Loving, living, crying, laughing.

We have also made some pretty huge decisions. Decisions which affect us and our family.

Our biggest decision is to say no more. No more babies.

My last pregnancy was one very long, very hard bundle of stress, illness, anger, frustration and sadness.

Of course it ended with our beautiful daughter and we are so incredibly happy with our girls.

I know I can’t do it again.

Pregnancy is hard, for nearly every person I know. It’s rare that someone tells me that their pregnancy was stress free. Carrying another life literally within your body is rarely easy but whilst I could never tell you that I enjoyed pregnancy as that would be a lie there is something magical about it all.

Of seeing that test turn positive after many negatives.

Of heavy breasts and shiny hair.

Of feeling a bond with someone whose face you haven’t seen yet.

Of feeling a kick for the very first time.

Or a somersault.

Hearing the heartbeat, that familiar wowwowowwow.

Seeing your baby move in a scan with your heart in your mouth and an overfull bladder.

Thinking of names.

Picking out clothes.

Seeing your body grow in the most marvellous of ways.

Of giving birth, as awful as it was – that moment when they are just there.

That first look.

The first time they latch on to feed.

The hours watching them sleep.

The hours you need to sleep and they need to feed.

Of adorable outfits and little white hats.

Of swaddling and rocking and very first baths.

So whilst I know in every essence of my being that I can’t do it again. To myself. To my family. It was just too much.

I will admit that my heart aches a little to know that I won’t feel that again.

I don’t dwell on it for long.

My life is miraculous. As all lives are. I have two priceless children to always hold in my heart. I have many, many firsts to experience with them and one day a long time in the future I will hold their babies in my arms.

I lie here watching my girls together, happy, healthy and blessed to have each other.

How lucky we are.

Siblings – March

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This month I seem to have a million photos of my girls separately but not as many of them together which is unusual as Izzy spends most of her day at Chloe’s side. So Daddy is slightly in this pic too but it’s the best I have – will try harder next month. I’m loving this monthly record and watching how my girls grow alongside each other. Each month brings new developments for both of them and new challenges for us. As hard as it can be sometimes I’m loving being a mother of two

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dear beautiful

Siblings – February

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Another month has passed and my newborn isn’t so new anymore,my toddler seems to grow an inch a day and I wonder how time goes by so quickly. The last three weeks have been pretty awful, I was admitted to hospital (twice) had a lumbar puncture and CT scan which were not particularly pleasant and I’m only just starting to feel better. What has got me through each day is my wonderful family and especially my OH and these two happy girls. It feels odd to say it as she’s only 12wks old but it feels like Chloe has always been around and Izzy is constantly looking for her, kissing her or singing at her. They are lovely to watch.

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dear beautiful

How much love can one heart hold?

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One of the very many things I worried about when pregnant was that I would find it had to love my second child as much as I loved my first..I’m sure I’m not alone here.

I worried it would be different. Added to that an awful pregnancy and traumatic labour and I thought I may find it hard to bond also.

I really needn’t have worried at all. As with Izzy the rush of love for my second daughter was instant. The relief of her being healthy and right next to me so I was able to finally know that she was ok was incredible, I won’t pretend the last week has been easy because it really hasn’t and I’m still feeling anxious and traumatised from the birth but I also feel lucky,blessed and LOVED.

Love is such an incredible emotion. It helps you through most of the difficult times in your life. I feel so loved by my little family and my larger family (parents and siblings) that I know everything will be ok. Maybe I won’t feel amazing and shiny happy for a little while but I know that I have so much love surrounding me like a bubble.

Strangely my love for Izzy seems to have doubled at least in the past week, watching my sweet generous girl fawn over her new baby sister and show so much joy at her arrival has made me melt.

I’m LUCKY.

“A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”
– Agatha Christie

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