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You are here: Home / Archives for terrible twos

I’m Your Mother..Not Your Friend

May 13, 2014 · by munchiesandmunchkins · 5 Comments

Recently my eldest daughter has started to push my buttons a little more than usual. She has had an awful cold/cough and it’s made her properly miserable and not exactly a joy to be around. For a few days I let her sulk and whine and play up as I felt sorry for her – she was ill after all. But as she (slowly) got better I found my fun loving, generous toddler had a very naughty streak. It’s probably not very naughty to most people but to me it is.

We have started having to be stricter with the ways we discipline her, for her sake and for ours. I don’t want a rude, disobedient child and for her she needs consistency so as to avoid confusion.

One example of this is Peppa Pig. Have you watched many of the episodes?

Peppa is quite rude. She says the word boring in nearly every episode. Usually in response to something her mum has suggested that they do or somewhere they should go. Izzy is a bit in love with old PP, ( it’s the only programme she will watch and completely get lost in it) and quickly began repeating it. If I offered her food… It was boring. If I suggested we go see someone.. They were boring. You get the picture. Slightly funny initially then wanting to tear my hair out frustrating very shortly after.

So we have stopped her watching it. For now. To some this may seem extreme but it’s been three days now and her use of the B word has reduced from 10-15 times per hour to about 5 times a day. She understands it’s rude to say it about everything and is learning that when you are naughty there are consequences.

I won’t stop it forever I promise you. She loves her too much for that. In fact we are going to see the theatre show in June but it’s never too early for her to learn that you can’t do everything you see on TV. Also limiting TV time is never a bad thing.

I’ve also noticed she (PP) will often say about her Dads tummy being too big etc.. Another thing I really don’t want Izzy to start saying to people. Weight issues are a conversation I don’t want to start just yet. She’s not even 3!

This last few weeks has made me think about something my mum said to me a while back which is that when parenting young children that you have to remember to be their mother .. Not their friend. I’m sure I’m not the only person guilty of wanting to be their child’s favourite person?

After having quite a few months last year of not being able to do as much with Izzy as I could due to the pregnancy etc I felt pretty guilty that our relationship was changing and maybe it did but I’ve started to understand it will continue to do that. One minute I am in Izzys words “brilliant” and she “loves me soooooo much” and other days I am brushed aside for no reason.

She is a person just like me, who has good days and bad days. Some days I will annoy her ( like she annoys me) and some days well I will be the worlds coolest mum ( in her eyes at least).

I mean we all have days like this right?

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My relationship with my own mum has changed many times over the years. I’ve always loved her (of course) but in my teens we definitely rubbed each other up the wrong way on many occasions. A combination of me being a pain and rebellious and my mum having some pretty awful mood swings, health issues and depression because of that. Fast forward to now and maybe I’m not supposed to but I will say that I think of my mum as a friend. She is a wonderful mother first and foremost but if something happens I immediately want to share it with her – like you would with your friend but if anything goes wrong I want to lean on her like you would with a parent.

That’s how I want to be with my daughters. A mother now when it is most important. Supportive, loving but firm. And later on well it would be great if they saw me as a friend too.

It’s only now looking back that I realise how great my parents were at their most important job – raising me and my siblings. It takes becoming a parent to know how hard it is from the most basic of decisions to the sleep deprivation and day to day life.

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Filed Under: Family, Parenting/baby, Uncategorized · Tagged: family, mother, parent, relationship, terrible twos

The Talkative Twos

February 11, 2014 · by munchiesandmunchkins · Leave a Comment

It’s been a while since I wrote about Izzy. Of course she’s been included in other blog posts and I’ve written some recipes and talked about us cooking together but I haven’t written just about her. Life has been rather chaotic so I guess that’s to blame but I don’t want to look back on this time in her life and think why didn’t I write about that? Because its a funny time. She’s harder at this age ( she knows her own mind) but she’s also easier at this age ( she sleeps ) and she is so so funny.

Izzy as a little baby:

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And Izzy now:

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Every day I laugh at something she says or does. Every single day. Even when I was incredibly down just before giving birth and weepy and depressed after giving birth ( I still get these days) she managed somehow to make me laugh which must make her a pretty amazing girl yes?

I wonder how her little mind works when she suddenly pipes up 3 months post partum “Mammy where’s your belly gone?” Or how she seems to know everything. Now this isn’t a mummy brag but seriously the child knows everything. Nothing gets past her. This isn’t always a good thing.

Her favourite phrase is still ” What are you doing?” I hear it on average 200 times a day. Sometimes it gets a bit much and I ask her the question over and over which annoys her and amuses me. Yes I’m a mature parent.

She loves her grandparents and her extended family. She asks for them all the time and will often demand we make cakes for Nanna.

Her favourite foods are tomatoes, olives and cheese. She mostly has a hearty appetite and will eat whatever we do but just this last week has developed an adorable (not) habit of chewing her food into mulch and then spitting it out – aaarghhh please tell me it’s a phase.

Sleep is still good for us. I realise just how lucky we are that for the most part Izzy sleeps from 7pm to 7am and naps for 1.5hrs at lunchtime. She loves going to bed especially at nap time and will tell you when she’s ready..on a recent shop trip she removed her shoes and climbed onto a display bed:

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She is pretty well behaved, ask anyone and they will tell you she’s such a good girl but she can also be naughty. She can be very naughty and I have days when I feel like pulling my hair out. She is normally only misbehaved for me and her Dad although we discipline her well and I think it’s because she feels secure enough to push our buttons. And push them she does.

Nine times out of ten she is helpful and generous, if I ask her to pass me the feeding cushion or a muslin when Chloe is screaming for a feed she will run and fetch them for me saying “Izzys helping” ( we have a lot of talking in the third person) then on just the one occasion when I will really need it she will flat out say no. Normally smiling wickedly whilst doing so. Why does that happen? I have no idea.

I still don’t think of this time as the terrible twos though. She is such a bundle of happiness and light on the whole that I can put up with a little naughty behaviour and at least we don’t have tantrums – the tantrum phrase was very short lived with us although I know it could still return.

She is very blonde and blue eyed and she is finally getting some hair – it looks pretty curly ..awwww. She is super tall like her Dad and most of her baby fat has gone which is not surprising as the girl does not stop moving. My Dad calls her Busy Izzy and its not hard to see why.

She loves to go the park and the river with her Dad when they can run about and get messy. She loves the soft play and so does her Dad – luckily.

At home she likes to draw, paint and play. TV no longer holds her attention unless she’s feeling unwell and she rarely asks to watch anything – whilst I should be pleased about this some days a 20 minute break would be lovely. If anything will hold her attention it’s still good old Mr T (Tumble that is) Her favourite at home activity is by far cooking click here to see her in action – hopefully this will continue as its something I love too.

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She can count to 11 and has done for a while. She knows the words for everything and doesn’t stop saying them but flat out refuses to learn her colours. She knew them about 6 months ago but now she insists that everything is green. We are working on that one. She understands when I tell her she can have something tomorrow or after her nap. Quite often if she asks for something sweet when we are out I will say yes we can get it and she will say “Eat it after nap” she knows that she doesn’t have treats just prior to bed and will instead ask for the cake or biscuit in the morning – she also understands that chocolate is a big treat and gets very excited. We have recently started to offer yoghurt raisins as a healthy snack and she thinks they are sweets so her face lights up when she sees me getting the box.

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She is an extremely loving child. We all get lots of hugs and kisses off Izzy especially Chloe whom she clearly adores. She also tells us she loves us THIS MUCH and stretches her arms out wide – it makes me feel so good but then she does the same thing for cake 😉

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There are so many things she does or says that I could tell you but I fear I may be rambling already.

What matters most is that even at this time – by far my most challenging year she makes us all smile and I get a glow when she squeezes me so tightly or gazes at her sister with love or still manages to look small curled up on her Dads lap. She may not be the smallest baby anymore but my baby she still is.

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Filed Under: Cooking with toddlers, Family, Parenting/baby · Tagged: fun, mimicking, naughty, talking, tantrums, terrible twos, toddlers

So….about these toddler tantrums

July 27, 2013 · by munchiesandmunchkins · 5 Comments

I love my daughter. I really do, she’s ever so sweet and well mannered. Cute, caring and generally a lovely child to be around. However I’m not one to hide any issues or live in denial and well the truth is the girl can STROP. When she does its as if my little angel disappears for a minute and out comes this monster. It really is normally for a maximum of about 2-3 minutes but boy are those 180 seconds the longest seconds ever. It will normally happen when she’s tired and she will always always check we are looking before she has a tantrums so I know it’s for attention. It’s never screaming or kicking or really even lashing out but it’s there. The throwing herself to the floor, the Nooo…noooo..nooo or just saying pleaseeeee over and over. Worse is the sobbing. Last week we went to a soft play where Izzy has a bit of a love affair with a yellow and red car. In her head you can clearly see she believes it is her car. When she sees it she lights up such is her affection for this piece of plastic. If another child is in it she happily plays with something else but when she gets in there woah do not try to get her to let another child have a turn. I always force it. I will not have a child who won’t share – but on our last visit we had actual sobbing and hugging me as if the world had turned against her.

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Aarrrghhhh this is not a fun development. I know it’s because she is becoming more understanding of her world while at the same time frustrated that she can’t communicate everything she wants to but I want it to end and she’s not even 2 yet. Help.

What are your tips for dealing with these outbursts? How do I help her cope with her emotions? Best ways to encourage sharing?

I feel like I’ve been spoilt in a way by having such a well behaved child and she still is but that almost makes these mood swings harder to deal with. The last month seems to have brought so many changes in our girl – the majority of which are awesome.. we can actually converse now don’t ya know? I’ll be writing about all those changes this week but for now your tips please.

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Filed Under: Parenting/baby · Tagged: sharing, strop, terrible twos, toddler

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