Being different is sometimes confused for being strange or weird. It’s not normal to be different, many of us strive so hard to just be the same.

I feel like I spent a lot of my life trying to be the same and just keep up with my friends and siblings. Wanting or telling myself I wanted the same things, a nice house and a steady job and the perfect 2.4 family. And it’s not that I no longer want those things but my wants and needs have changed, I have changed. I am a very different Becky to the one I was a year ago and I wish I could tell you that some huge life event had changed that or give you some kind of magic formula but I can’t things have just happened as they do and I’ve changed. In the famous words of Kendall Jenner 2016 was my year of just realising stuff. On my birthday last year I really sat down and thought about the way my life was going and about how I was literally the only person with the power to change it, nearly a year on I am not quite there but I am making leaps and bounds. Reassessing areas of my life and accepting what may or may not be for me.

And the main thing I realised is that I’m different. I’m not my siblings, I am not my friends.

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” Dr Seuss

I know this is the kind of thing we hear all the time and see in motivational quotes but it really is true. There will never be another me or another you. There will be others like us of course but no one person will be the exact mix of lazy, workaholic, brave, anxious, loving and soppy that makes me who I am. Nobody. And that is quite a thing to fully accept. Now because of that you must work on being the absolute best version of yourself, that won’t work for everyone, not everyone will love the best version of you, just make sure that you do. You are the one you have to answer to at the end of the day.

Most days I read posts from bloggers, Instagrammers and social media influencer companies telling me how I should blog and Instagram. I should have a niche on Instagram, my photos should have the same filter or follow the same theme and I should never stray from that set route and I will admit that I tried that for a VERY short amount of time. It doesn’t work for me, some of my photos have no filter, some are filtered to the best of my filtering abilities. I share photos of food alongside travel pics, self love bikini photos next to hipster avocado toast and I have even started recommending beauty products – it is a real mish mash but that is me and most of my followers seem to enjoy that, there are over 4.5k of them so I must be doing something that pleases people.

Inspirational quotes and coffee shots too of course.

A post shared by Munchiesandmunchkins (@munchiesandmunchkins) on Feb 10, 2017 at 6:02am PST

A post shared by Munchiesandmunchkins (@munchiesandmunchkins) on Mar 18, 2017 at 7:07am PDT

I am told that I am a brand now. My blog is a brand. To a point that is true, my blog is also my business but I am a person. I will ramble on here about all kinds of matters like this post for example whilst also sharing my favourite recipes and travel stories, it is what makes my blog me. It started for me and and I expected a handful of my friends to read it, times have changed and my blog has changed with it but it will always be personal for me. I am aware that at times that may cost me work, some brands will prefer the professional, polished approach to blogging and if so I am probably the wrong person for the job anyway.

The thing is I feel in some way I have to work doubly hard, I left college at 17 because I was a bit of a silly easily influenced teen in a damaging relationship, I saw the easy financial benefits of working and I wanted money rather than further education. I hugely regret this, I always wanted to be a writer, a journalist in fact when I was younger but it is never too late. I work at my office day job part time which is my mortgage payments and bills sorted and then the blog is my everything else. I couldn’t be a regular 9-5er in an office 5 days a week, I am someone who needs to be her own boss and because of that I know that hard work lies in my future for years when most of my friends are in successful, well paid careers. It means I can’t Netflix all night long because once the girls are in bed I am recipe testing or writing or working on my social media accounts. But I control my time, the girls have my full attention when they are awake, we play and learn and bake and I am doing this for them as much as I am doing it for myself.  They deserve for me to be the best I can be and it will make for a happy home life. Sometimes I feel as though others judge slightly, they question why I only work part time, why I don’t want to further myself in my current role in my office job. But that is not my dream, if I worked more hours I would miss out on time with the girls which is so important to me, if I wanted more power at work then I wouldn’t have the time or indeed brain space to work on the blog. It is a balancing act and right now the see saw is just about at the right place. I am a writer now. I write this blog and I write for other food websites, I am doing it and it is a long, slow process but I’m doing it, I’m really doing it ( saying this always reminds me of Peter Pan.. You’re doing it Peter… ).

Another big change for me has been worrying less about what others think. I will probably never shake that completely and I think we all worry a little if we are being honest with ourselves. But I worry a lot less. Am I supposed to be wearing Batman and Wonderwoman t shirts or Captain America sweaters at the age of 33 with two children? Am I? I don’t really care. I wear them because I like them. I am at my happiest in a pair of jeans, comfy trainers or vans and a tee shirt. Yes I love to get dressed up, I am a girl after all ( well woman ) but I prefer to be casual. Is it ok or braggy to talk about weight loss and being happy (wish) with how my body looks? I don’t care. I have worked so hard to get to a point where I feel comfortable with myself and I think sharing that kind of positivity but can only be a good thing. It’s not a vanity thing, if you know me then you know I am not in the slightest bit vain.. and hey people can always unfollow or mute or just scroll on by.

I am getting braver, stronger and more confident in my abilities. And you know I will admit that I have been anxious and weak in the past, I will have times like that again perhaps but right now I am not letting anything beat me. I’m holding my head up, moving forward all the time and achieving my goals. I can do this. So can you.

I am different. It’s not a bad thing.

 

There are lots of parts of my body that I can pick faults with and that is entirely normal for a woman or indeed anyone at all. I am however aware that I am fairly lucky when it comes to having clear skin and thick hair. For that reason I used to be quite lazy with my hair and beauty routine, in the sense that I didn’t have one. The last year or so I have paid more attention to my skin and hair and started using products that enhance and help, the difference has been quite astonishing, especially over the last two – three months..so perhaps I should have been working a little harder on it before now but hey ho.

My friends and followers often ask what I use in terms of make up and hair products so I thought I would share a few personal recommendations and also tips for people who want a low maintenance beauty routine. I will never be the girl who spends two hours doing her hair each day or 30 minutes each morning applying make up, it’s just not me and who has the time? I mean I could be watching something on Netflix or you know..eating. BUT I am starting to see that a little effort reaps great results. I don’t wear heavy make up every day but I wear a little bit of light make up ( to enhance rather than hide ) apart from at home when I am generally all natural. I can honestly say I am happier with the way I look, aged 33 and a bit after two children than I was in my late 20’s prior to having children and a lot of this is down to exercise, decent products and just caring less about what other people think.

*Any products mentioned are due to me naturally loving them and I have not been paid to promote them.

1. You don’t need all the face masks and a hundred different lotions and potions for your face. You just need to keep it clean and use one or two high quality products. With skincare you do get what you pay for so expect to pay a little more than perhaps you want to, however these products do tend to need very small amounts and last a long time so consider cost per use rather than cost per bottle. First up I have to recommend Alpha H Liquid Gold. I had a small sample sized bottle of this in a beauty advent calendar in December and I loved it so much that as soon as it ran out I bought a full sized bottle. It isn’t cheap, I paid around £30 for a 200ml bottle and the cheapest place I found for it was Amazon, browse around as prices differ widely. It is well worth the pounds, a little goes a long way. You swipe it over your face on a cotton pad in much the same way you would use a cleanser/toner before bed every other evening and you literally wake up glowing. My sister is also obsessed with it. The brand was founded after the creator battled for years with adult acne, whilst this is something I don’t suffer with I can tell you it has made a remarkable difference to my skin in the past 3 months.

2. Brows. I am so glad that as a teenager I never had the urge to pluck my eyebrows away into a super thin line. I have reasonably thick brows which I have always  tried to maintain well. Brows frame your face and if they look well groomed it will make an instant change to how you look. Fill in gaps with a decent powder or pencil and use a comb and perhaps some brow gel if yours are unruly. Consider visiting a threader or waxer to get a decent starting shape. DON’T be tempted to over pluck or over emphasise and remember thick black slugs don’t suit anyone.

3. Primer. I am not a big fan of thick, heavy orange hue foundations. I find they make my skin feel like it’s suffocating and also they don’t look particularly natural on me but I do fully embrace a decent quality primer. I use PUR illuminate and glow primer which is another product I discovered in the M&S advent calendar and have since purchased as a full sized product. I use a dab of it in the morning and it makes me look like I have a natural glow – kind of how you look after an invigorating walk on a sunny beach. You can just rub it in without paying much attention to where it goes as it’s only slightly tinted – perfect for people who are lazy with beauty time. Most people who use primer use it as a base layer for their real make up but I will nearly always use it alone and I find it’s enough for what I want to achieve.

4. Hair – if your hair looks healthy and shiny then you are instantly winning with how you feel and look. I have to pay quite a lot of attention to my hair as it can get a little unruly. I even considered a drastic cut last month but for now at least the long locks are staying. I have started using an Elasticiser product regularly and after one use my hair looked like I had just stepped out of a salon. All of my friends commented on it and I may have spent longer than is necessary sat stroking my hair in wonder at how soft it was. I would recommend giving it a whirl.

5. Moisturise and hydrate. Buy a decent body moisturiser if you have dry skin, I don’t really but find if I think my body needs something it is generally because I am not drinking enough water. Drinking lots of water definitely improves your skin..and it’s free. BONUS. Use something like cocoa butter on your legs and torso and a specialised face cream for your face and neck – it doesn’t have to be expensive although I find L’oreal  creams are in general excellent. I also recommend adding oil to your bath for silky smooth skin ( not for your face of course ), I am a big fan of a long soak in the bath and I always use some kind of salts or oil, therefore my limbs are silky smooth – some perks to being a lazy bath lover.

6. Exercise. Yes it has lots of benefits, weight loss and of course it tones you and gets you in better shape but have you noticed how much it helps your skin? Remove all make up before exercising, I can’t tell you how weird I find it to see people working out in full make up. Leave your skin breath and shower quickly afterwards to avoid sweat lingering and causing any pore blockages and you will soon see benefits from working out including a brighter more radiant complexion and also.. FREE.

Do you have any tips that make your hair and beauty routine that little bit simpler?

Last month seemed to pass by in a bit of a blur. You know those months when you do a lot but it feels like you haven’t and you wonder just where the weeks went? It was that kind of month for me, I had a lot on my mind and so much to do and I managed it all…just. Lots of you seemed to enjoy my ramblings last month about what I watched, read, listened to and ate so here is this months update on all of those things and also a general update on what is going on in my life. If you have any recommendations on good shows, books or films you think I may enjoy please leave them in the comments below. Let’s kick off with:

What have I been watching?

At the cinema:

A few weeks ago I went to a local independent cinema called Cinema & Co to see Dirty Dancing with my sisters, it was such a different experience to going to see a film in a large chain cinema and incredibly relaxing. Super comfy cushions, shoes off, feet tucked up and pizza and a fruity cider to accompany the film.

The next day I had a very different cinema experience when we went to see Monster Trucks ( for a special kids screening ) and it was surprisingly not a bad film, the girls really enjoyed and were transfixed throughout and ahem you do weirdly get attached to the monsters. More recently I have been to see Beauty and the Beast, if you follow me on social media you will know that I have been *slightly* excited about this particular film release and ahh it doesn’t disappoint. In fact I feel the need to give it a mini review because it is so perfectly cast and stays true to the original whilst giving some new insights into the characters and their family background. The soundtrack is beautiful and I actually couldn’t fault it. I watched it first with my younger sister and when I was satisfied that it wasn’t too scary for the girls it meant I had an easy excuse for a second viewing. I have always been movie obsessed, ever since my childhood. The cinema has been a source of comfort and excitement for me for most of my life and it’s rare that a month passes without 1-2 visits. It is the ultimate in escapism and I can see both of the girls becoming the same. It is pretty magical to watch your child’s face while they fall in love with a character or a story.  I’ve also watched The Founder, which is the true story of how McDonald’s began – I found this interesting although it is not a particularly exciting or dramatic film.

After watching the trailers I am also slightly embarrassed to admit I want to see the Power Rangers film coming up this spring as well as the Wonder Woman film in the Marvel series.

At home:

I’ve made time for some TV time at home again this month. I’ve watched more Mad Men episodes and I am still gripped. On Netflix I’ve watched the new series of LOVE after really enjoying the first series, I didn’t love it quite as much as series one but it’s still a good watch with one or two very funny episodes. I can also recommend The Minimalists which is a pretty good documentary about two men who started a movement in Minimalism and I am well into the third series of Chef’s Table which is incredible as always with even more detail into the lives of these often eccentric chefs. I am planning on starting to watch Taboo this week, I am not entirely sure if it’s my kind of show but it has Tom Hardy in it so I am willing to give it a go.

What have I been reading?

Not enough this month, my concentration levels have been rather low over the last few weeks and I have just read a few magazines and also re read a book I’ve had for some time called Things I Want My Daughters To Know by Elizabeth Noble, it is a slightly sad but mostly uplifting book about family, life, death and love. I have a few books on my to read list for next month but I would love recommendations from you. Oh and I just remembered I did read a pretty funny chick lit book called The List on my kindle whilst travelling to some work meetings, it isn’t an especially good read but it’s amusing. I received a new book in the post this week, Magnificent Mess – Topher Kearby which I’m sure I will be telling you about next month as I am rapidly falling in love with it.

I am definitely planning on some more time with physical books over the coming weeks, it is so different holding an actual paperback book and delving into it than it is reading via the kindle. I am also noticing that lately I am spending a lot more time with pens and notebooks than typing and I’m enjoying that. I am the typical blogger who sits in a coffee shop for hours planning out posts and writing to do lists – and yes I know there is an app for that but I am fairly traditional when it comes to some things and the feeling of being able to tick something off a real to do list is just different.

What have I been listening to?

I’m still on a John Legend love in right now but I’m also listening to Blind Pilot, X Ambassadors, Joshua Radin and …the Beauty & The Beast soundtrack. I enjoy silence but a day doesn’t pass without me actively choosing to listen to music at some point. Oh and of course I along with the rest of the world have become obsessed with the new Ed Sheeran album, current favourite songs from the album include Happier and Galway Girl although I like every track.

What have I been eating and drinking?

Blood Oranges!! I made the most of blood orange season by eating them most days. I had a week of smoothies whilst testing out my Breville Blend Active, you can read about that here. I felt pretty good after a week packed with extra fruit and veggies. I’ve had some meals out with family and friends and I’ve enjoyed a few glasses of Merlyn’s Welsh Cream liquor and welsh cakes .. well I had to honour St.David’s Day.

I’ve been visiting some of the best coffee shops in my area and Swansea is seriously upping it’s coffee game. Recommendations so far for Copper, Squarepeg, Bluebell Coffee and Rag & Bones, all are independently owned, serve delicious coffee and sell a great variety of fresh food.

I tried these new iced coffees from Baileys which I spotted on offer in my local supermarket, they are pretty good:

And due to a few cinema visits and some afternoons working whilst being too tired I seem to have eaten too many sweets. I have a slight liquorice addiction lately, it isn’t something that I used to enjoy so I blame Lakrids by Johan Bulow for kickstarting that habit. They make THE best liquorice by the way. The red liquorice below isn’t quite as good but I managed to eat them all anyway. Not especially impressed by the Dairy Milk also pictured below, I do really like Cadbury Dairy Milk but this particular one isn’t for me.

 

What else has been happening?

I spent a deliciously indulgent day at a local spa, it was my first spa time in about 8/9 months so I thoroughly relaxed and made the most of the day. Had a rather good back massage too. I’m still attending my circuit training class generally twice a week as well as workouts at home and I’m feeling stronger, I am not aiming for muscles just a little bit more strength and flexibility would be nice. I’ve written a feature for The Daily Meal which you can check out here and I have another one coming up for Easter. I enjoyed a fun hen weekend with some of my childhood buddies in Cardiff, we stayed in a gorgeous hotel, spent hours at the spa and danced and drank a LOT of cocktails. I discovered that I can still dance and party like in my 20’s but I don’t necessarily want to, at least not every Saturday night. Don’t get me wrong, I had a lot of fun and I will do it again soon I’m sure but every weekend would get a little old. Especially as hangovers seem to last much longer these days, or perhaps its the lack of time to just languish in bed afterwards! It has actually been a month focused on my family and friends and that can only be a good thing. The next month sees a lot of blog work, collaborations both on and off the blog and hoping that one or two projects I have been working on come to fruition. I’m also planning out what music and food festivals I can make this year, I have been invited to quite a few ( which is nice ) both in the UK and around Europe so I just need to see what is possible with work and family life before committing. And yay for the fact that it’s pretty much springtime, I am glad to be done with that winter. Show me the sun.