munchiesandmunchkins, Author at Munchies and Munchkins

Camp Bestival…Food Festival? The Feast Collective 2016

April 10, 2016 · by munchiesandmunchkins · 5 Comments

I am very pleased to be able to tell you that I ( along with Andrew and the girls ) have been invited to be Official Bloggers for Camp Bestival again this year. This will be our fifth year as blog ambassadors for this special festival and I am not sure who is more excited! I will be telling you lots about what to expect from the musical line up this year as well as the best shows and adventures for you and your little ones over the coming months. Firstly and in my eyes possibly most importantly lets talk about FOOD. Feast your eyes on this line up:

This is what Feast Collective Producer Gemma Thorogood says: “This year we’ve trawled the country for the cream of the crop with British Street Food celebs Seadog bringing their seaside popcorn to the fields, plus Bánh Mì from Pho Sho, buttermilk chicken from Butchies, and sweet potato pancakes from the Chocolate Bear Kitchen. Not to mention the extraordinary Eritrean tacos carefully crafted by Lemlem Kitchen, oh and Polar Pops ice lollies made only from real fruit and vegetables (with NO added sugar)! I just hope I can get around it all in one weekend!”

The Feast Collective has the perfect vibe, a blend of music and hints of spice and smoke as well as a bustle of fellow foodies. I loved spending time there last year and with the addition of Polar Pops and The Chocolate Bear Kitchen I am sure I can entice the kids to linger there a little longer too!! Offerings for everyone this year as always with plenty of vegan and gluten free options.

I can’t wait to try Zoe’s Ghana Kitchen again and try out whatever awesome hunks of meat DJ BBQ has to offer as well as sample ALL of the new traders..for research of course. I’ll be telling you more about the traders and what to expect next month so you can get your meal planning heads ready to make the most out of the Feast Collective this year.

Beef Cobbler With Rosemary & Cheese Scones #LivePeasant

April 6, 2016 · by munchiesandmunchkins · 11 Comments

I used to love the Beef Cobbler my mum made when we were younger, it was the ultimate in comfort food and its one of my earliest food memories. When Simply Beef & Lamb asked me to join in their live peasant challenge to make an easy one pot dish I knew I would try to create my own take on it. My mum used to use beef mince but I have instead used beef pieces instead. Whilst this may not be the most traditional version it worked out perfectly and we all loved it. Adding fresh rosemary to the scones gave them a wonderfully herby flavour.

When buying beef or lamb look out for a quality mark like the Red Tractor logo which guarantees the meat you are buying is farm assured. Using casserole beef pieces in a slow cooked dish means you get gorgeously tender meat at an affordable price. This is also the kind of dish you could make early in the morning ready to eat to eat in the evening or even the next day – the flavour only improves with time.

You can find out more about the Live Peasant challenge here but here is a little info:

Red Tractor Beef & Lamb has launched a campaign to celebrate the peasant food trend, and inspire families to rediscover traditional cooking techniques, from around the world that are simple, warming and hearty.

With the launch of the #LivePeasant challenge, we want families to reclaim traditional cooking and let the oven or slow cooker do all the work. Using inexpensive cuts of beef and lamb, which are perfect for slow-cooking, dishes can be prepared in advance and left to cook so that delicious, melt-in-the-mouth home-cooked meals are ready and waiting when you are. So take a little time to discover the peasant food trend and enjoy the benefits of a meal with less haste more taste!

Without further ado here is my Beef Cobbler recipe:

Beef Cobbler With Rosemary & Cheese Scones

450g diced casserole beef – please use red tractor approved meat
1 large leek, washed and thinly sliced
1 long stick of celery, sliced
1 onion diced
2 carrots sliced
1 sweet potato cut into 1 inch chunks
300ml red wine
400 ml beef stock
1 tbsp tomato puree
2 tbsp cornflour
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp seasalt
3 tbsp rapeseed oil
1 bay leaf

For the scones:

175 g Self Raising Flour ( plus extra to dust your surface )
25 g butter
75g mature cheddar, finely grated
1 large egg
50ml milk
1tbsp fresh rosemary, finely chopped
Good pinch ofsalt and pepper

Preheat your oven to 180c. Prepare your vegetables.

Mix your flour, salt and pepper in a bowl, toss your beef in the mixture.

Now add 2tbsp of your oil in a casserole dish ( which is suitable for both hob and oven cooking ) then brown your meat on all sides. Remove and set aside. Now add your remaining oil and sauté your vegetables until softened – add your tomato puree. Pour in your wine and stock, stir well.

Add your bay leaf and place a lid on top and oven cook for 1.5 hours.

In the meantime make the scone mixture. Mix your flour with the salt, pepper and rosemary then rub in your butter, add your egg(reserve a small amount to glaze), cheese and milk and mix to a dough.

Place your dough on a floured surface and flatten into a circle. Using a small round cutter, cut out 8 rounds.

Remove your dish from the oven and place your scone rounds on top,glaze with egg and return to the oven without the lid. Bake for a further 15-20 minutes until the scones are golden brown. Add a few sprigs of rosemary to garnish.

Tip: take it up a notch by brushing the scones lightly with melted butter when you remove from oven – adds an indulgent taste.

Serve alone or with fresh bread or a mound of mash and some greens.

What are your favourite one pot dishes?

* This recipe was created as part of a campaign with simply beef and lamb – I was compensated for my time and the ingredients.

Hungry Healthy Happy Review & Giveaway

April 2, 2016 · by munchiesandmunchkins · 13 Comments

Sometimes a celebration for someone else feels as good as if it were for yourself. A few months ago one of my fellow food bloggers published her first book and it really has made me smile to see how successful it has been and how many people have given it rave reviews. Luckily I was sent a copy of the wonderful Hungry Healthy Happy book to review and it quickly joined some of my favourite books on one of my bookshelves!

I get lost in cookbooks and knowing the background to Danni’s story as well as being a regular reader of her blog made this one even more interesting. Those of you who haven’t yet read her blog yet you should know that her story is pretty inspirational – Danni lost 100lbs and has since focused on creating balanced recipes and a healthier lifestyle and shares them all on her awesome blog. The recipes are diverse and all healthy – yet you wouldn’t always know it. The Chocolate Nut Ball truffles I made a few weeks ago definitely felt pretty indulgent to me.

Each recipe has a nutritional breakdown too which is great if you are calorie counting or just wanting to make sure you are having a balanced diet. Its perfect for anyone following the Weight Watchers diet as it contains all the info you need to point each recipe.

As I have said I love the Chocolate Nut Ball truffles- I have already made two batches!! I have also made the Tuna & Chickpea salad and its made for some great filling work lunches lately. I am eyeing up the breakfast burritos too.

Now how would you like your own copy? You can win a copy of your own just by entering this simple rafflecopter form:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

If you aren’t lucky enough to win you can buy it here.

You can find lots more reviews and some recipes from Danni’s book here:

Chocolate Hazelnut Spread

Spiced Lentil Pancake Wraps

Breakfast Burritos

Heidi Roberts Kitchen Review

It’s Not Easy Being Greedy Review

Spring Vegetable Frittata

Knead Whine Review

Spiced Lentil Tacos

I was sent this book to review.

Slow Cooker Rosemary Garlic Chicken with Honey and Lemon

March 26, 2016 · by munchiesandmunchkins · 7 Comments

Last month I drank a lot of honey and lemon! Even though its typically a drink you have when you are unwell I quite like the combination of flavours and will often have it when I am perfectly fit and healthy too, especially on a cold wintery night. It got me to thinking about flavour mixes that I love – honey and lemon..lemon and rosemary… garlic and well..anything! It resulted in this recipe for Slow Cooker Rosemary Garlic Chicken with Honey and Lemon. Slow cooked because I can be a lazy chef at times and I adore my slow cooker. I often don’t even marinate meat that I slow cook as I find it already takes on the flavour well enough but I have in this instance, purely because I had the time.

Something about lemons makes me feel like springtime has arrived ( although they fill our fruit bowl year round ) and so it was perfect that this was served on a day where the sun shone brightly in a gloriously blue sky!

Although this is a slow cooker dish I popped onto my griddle pan ( a frying pan will do ) at the end mostly for aesthetic reasons but also as I love the caramelisation and taste that it gives.

Slow Cooker Rosemary Garlic Chicken with Honey and Lemon

You will need:

4 chicken breasts

5 garlic cloves (peeled)

Zest & juice of one lemon

3 tbsp honey ( plus 2 tbsp for glazing )

Few sprigs of fresh rosemary

pinch of sea salt

pinch of black pepper

Mix your lemon, 3 tbsp honey, garlic and seasoning in a bowl and add your chicken and mix thoroughly. Refrigerate for a few hours. Remove and leave to bring to room temperature then add to your slow cooker and cook on low for 5 hours. Pop a griddle pan over a high heat until sizzling, brush your chicken on both side with a little honey and sprinkle over black pepper then briefly pop on your pan until golden brown and sticky.

Serve with a large green salad and some new potatoes. These were so good I am making them again later this week, this time to slice thinly and serve in tortilla wraps with a herby mayo.

What is your favourite slow cooker dish??

New Zealand Lamb Roast For Easter 2016

March 21, 2016 · by munchiesandmunchkins · 6 Comments

I enjoy the savoury aspect of Easter dishes just as much as the sweet. I always remember having a really good roast lamb dish on Easter Sunday at my parents house throughout my childhood and its something I have tried to continue here. Last year I collaborated with New Zealand Lamb and recreated their Easter recipe which you can see here. I have since made it twice and its a superb dish. This year they have a new recipe for their Easter Roast Lamb and I tried it out to make sure it was just perfect for you!

New Zealand Lamb has been available in the UK for over 130 years bringing delicious tastes to the nation and providing recipe inspiration to fans of this free range and succulent meat. New Zealand Lamb is relatively low in calories and cholesterol, and high in protein, it’s also a great source of essential nutrients such as B vitamins, zinc and iron, all of which help maintain a balanced diet and good health. You can buy fresh or frozen half shoulders or whole legs of New Zealand Lamb in the supermarkets. This recipe also includes squash, chantenay carrots, red onions, lemon, herbs, garlic and white wine. Its fairly simple to prepare and a really impressive dish. I am looking forward to making this again to share with friends and family over Easter.

I used a frozen whole leg for this recipe as my local store was all out of fresh and I was cooking for 6 people which ended up being 11 ( arrggghh – the most I have ever cooked a sit down meal for ) – I thawed it in the bottom of my fridge and it took about 24 hours. I also couldn’t source chantenay carrots this weekend so I used ordinary and cut into smaller wedges.

You will need:

1/2 shoulder or leg of New Zealand Lamb ( Fresh or thawed from frozen )
450g roughly chopped potatoes
250g chantenay carrots
350g squash, peeled and cut into chunks
2 red onions cut into wedges
3 tbsp E.V.Olive Oil
Zest of 1 lemon
1 whole garlic bulb split into cloves but unpeeled
A few sprigs of rosemary
2 tsp fennel seeds
150ml white wine
1 tbsp warm water

Large roasting tray and foil

Preheat oven to 200c, 400f or gas mark 6.

Blanch potatoes for approximately 5 minutes.
Place the lamb in the tin, place your carrots, squash, potatoes and onions around it. Drizzle with oil and season.
Add your wine and a splash of water.
Place tin in oven for 10 minutes and then reduce temp to 180c.
After 30 minutes add your garlic and sprigs of rosemary to the pan and scatter over the fennel seeds and zest onto the lamb.
Continue roasting until veggies are soft and starting to caramelise and the lamb is cooked as is your preference ( it will need approx 20-30 additional minutes for medium).
You can add a splash more wine or water to your pan if its looking dry.
Once removed from oven, cover with foil and a tea towel and rest for at least 15 minutes before carving.

Serve.

This is perfect when carved at the table in a suitable serving dish with the veggies around the meat. Make sure you use all the fabulous meat juices to make a delicious gravy to accompany. We love some fresh greens and a mound of mash with ours too. I had a pretty happy family at the end of the meal. I recommend this dish for your Easter table.

For dessert we enjoyed my popular Slow Cooked Hot Cross Bun & Butter Pudding

Easter Gift Guide 2016

March 18, 2016 · by munchiesandmunchkins · 2 Comments

Obsessed with Chocolate?? I am ..my poor waistline! I really have to try and control my chocolate cravings but well.. its Easter very very soon.

I have very selflessly worked hard over the last month or two to find you the best treats for Easter. I know.. you can thank me later.

First up are unusual mint chocolate coated black liquorice eggs from Lakrids. They also have liquorice pieces enrobed with salted dulce de leche caramel chocolate covered in chocolate and presented in an egg shaped presentation box – I know it sounds unusual but it works and looks impressive!

As always Cadburys have it covered. Creme eggs a plenty, easter eggs which you can decorate yourselves with icing pens or mini eggs with pieces of Daim bar or Oreo.

Tesco have a beautiful range of hand decorated eggs this Easter, hand crafted by master chocolatiers. We like this Dark Chocolate Square Egg decorated with white chocolate and butterscotch pieces, it looks a bit different and tastes incredible.

Who else loves Elizabeth Shaw mint or orange discs and flutes? They have a wonderful egg with 12 chocolate orange discs this year and it wasn’t around for long.

Rococo have a fantastic selection of products, we tried some of their beautiful hand painted eggs and I am currently lusting over this sea salt egg:

Green & Blacks had to feature here of course, they are one of my favourite brands of chocolate and this year I love their Dark Collection Egg which has a 70% egg alongside 2 bars ( butterscotch and ginger ):

Ombar is the nicest dairy and soya free chocolate I have tried ( thus far ) – its so creamy and indulgent that you could completely forget that it doesn’t contain any milk. We have tried lots of their products but the new bars are particularly good especially this raspberry and coconut one:

Holland & Barrett Good Life Eggs are free from dairy and also free from soya ( they are a may contain ) we are yet to try them but I have heard good things:

Something different to Chocolate? Dotcom Gift Shop have lots of bunny themed gifts, my girls are in love with these Bunny nightlight and party lights. The cake decoration kits are perfect for Easter themed bakes too.

Chloe is having this Leapfrog Number Loving Oven from us this year instead of chocolate, we are lovers of LeapFrog products which we find to be sturdy, fun and educational:

I am also planning to have a go at making some filled eggs myself this year.. hmm watch this space!

Some items in this guide were gifted.

Locke & Remedy Cardiff Review

March 17, 2016 · by munchiesandmunchkins · 3 Comments

When I was invited to review Locke & Remedy in Cardiff I had high expectations. I had heard lots of good things and from following their social media accounts I had seen plenty of photos of their drool worthy food. The day we visited I had been feeling rather unwell for nearly a week with a cold virus that had been doing the rounds in my area and I hadn’t had much of an appetite.

Well that soon changed.

Its rare that I go out for a meal and can find no fault at all. Normally where the food is good, the venue doesn’t always match up or the service is slightly below par. Locke and Remedy welcome you with open arms – not just if you are a food reviewer. I saw first hand the way they treated other customers. The staff were so attentive and friendly. We were looked after by Danny – a genuinely lovely guy who took an obvious pride and joy in his work. He knew how the food had been cooked, what complimented what and recommended the most perfect drinks for us. Thanks Danny!

We had been encouraged to try all aspects of their menu which is simple and small. They offer burgers and pizzas with delicious sides and a limited yet perfect dessert menu. A smaller menu means they can offer freshly cooked and well considered dishes.

Here is what we enjoyed:

I had a Buttermilk fried chicken burger which contained spicy coleslaw and little gem lettuce. My sides were Sweet Potato fries and the house salad. I had a blackberry mocktail to enjoy alongside my meal.

Andrew had the maple glazed bacon burger, which contained a 6oz dry aged beef patty, thick maple glazed ham, cheese, American mustard mayo, sliced beef tomato and little gem lettuce. His sides were the House Fries and Spicy coleslaw. He enjoyed a Californian Lager to accompany his meal.

We also shared a sourdough stone baked pizza with salami pepperoni, peppadew peppers, green chillies and jalapeños.

I cannot tell you enough how much we enjoyed our meal. The buttermilk chicken was moist with the most deliciously crispy batter.. I actually commented that I could have eaten a bowlful of the batter.. it was THAT good. The sweet potato fries that accompanied my meal were crunchy on the outside and fluffy and full of flavour inside – sweet potato fries are notoriously hard to master and these were by far the best I have had. My salad was fresh with a lemony dressing. We split our burgers in half so I got to sample the maple glazed burger too which was incredible! It was packed full of flavour and definitely moreish. The spicy coleslaw that Andrew chose to go with it was clearly freshly made with a dressing that had the best kick! His fries were pretty awesome too.

It was the first time I had a pizza with a sourdough base and it was so thin and had a great crust. The hot and spicy toppings were a perfect combination and the way it was cooked imparted a fabulous smoky flavour. Oh I could eat this again and again.

Onto the drinks. The blackberry cocktail that had been recommended to me was incredibly refreshing, you don’t often see fresh blackberries in drinks and it eased my still sore throat. Andrews lager was a brand he had not tried before but certainly wants to again. I also had an iced tea – a drink that I never usually order but I loved it – its made at the restaurant rather than ordered in.

We didn’t really have room for desserts but we were urged to give them a whirl and it was worth the fact that I slipped into a food coma almost immediately afterwards!

I had the ice cream sundae which had layers of homemade brownie, honeycomb ice cream – again made at the restaurant, mounds of freshly whipped cream and raspberries to top. Ah isn’t it just beautiful? I managed to eat about a third of it before Andrew thankfully stepped in. Andrew had a lemon tart served with clotted cream which I managed to have a mouthful of ..just enough to judge how utterly perfect it was. Crispy, buttery, sweet shortcrust pastry with sharp yet sweet lemon filling.

It was quite honestly one of the best meals I’ve eaten in agessss. No fuss or pretention. Just great food served properly.

If you live in Cardiff, visit Cardiff or within the surrounding areas I urge you to seek out Locke and Remedy and try it for yourselves. I could eat there again tomorrow.

You can find Locke and Remedy on Trinity St, Cardiff in the former Cardiff City library.

We were invited to Locke and Remedy for review purposes and as such our meal was complimentary.

Take Me Away – Glorious Soup Adventures

March 16, 2016 · by munchiesandmunchkins · 5 Comments

I’m back again to talk to you about the Glorious Soups we have been enjoying lately. It has been a long month of awful colds and viruses at our house. The weather was dismal and damp..it was depressing. If there had been the option to jump on a plane and be whisked away to somewhere hot and exciting I would have jumped at it..while sneezing and supping on honey and lemon of course. It has been a while since I went on a real adventure to another country, I miss it. The excitement of smelling new ingredients cooking away while sat in a restaurant or at a roadside stall waiting for a meal is one of my favourite parts of any trip.

What I love about Glorious Soups is how they are always based on traditional meals and flavour combinations from different countries around the world. Food can be wonderful in helping you to transport yourself away from your everyday life and the soups are so much more enjoyable than a soggy sandwich from the work canteen! Before I tell you about the soups I have enjoyed this month I want to share some more of my food adventures with you:

On a trip to The Gambia in 2009 we stayed within a village rather than in the tourist area. This meant we were lucky to be able to experience many local dishes using ingredients we had never tried or just in ways we had never thought to combine them. Three food experiences from our stay have stuck with me over the years.

The first was a peanut based stew called Domodah. We were staying at a lodge owned by the charity we were working with and they employed local staff to cook for all of the volunteers. The chef who we all loved was called Ensa and his assistant was Musa, Ensa loved to cook and it really showed in the end results. They weren’t always able to get the ingredients which we would find so easily accessible here but everything we ate was a delight to the senses.

Domodah is an incredible dish, typically using squash and aubergine as well as beef or chicken has a thick peanut sauce. We ate it twice on our stay and we all went back for seconds, the week after we returned home I made my own version and have since made it a few times – its delicious and always reminds me of that special adventure.

The second was a meal we shared with a group of villagers and its not so much about the food but the experience of eating it. Each day we were served three meals, breakfast, lunch and dinner and there weren’t any snack options other than mangoes ( which were so juicy – it ruined shop bought ones for me ) so we always made sure we filled up at each meal as the work we did was physical and we needed the energy. After enjoying a substantial lunch we began to get ready to return to the school we were painting but as we did one of the villagers came to explain that the women of the village were making a communal meal and firstly wanted my help and secondly wanted us to share it. I had a lot of fun helping to mince fish using a really old mincer ( it was a bit of smelly job) and helping to grind spices and prepare the rice dish to accompany the fish balls. Within about 30 minutes the food was ready and we took our places on the floor in a circle around serving dishes and were encouraged to use our hands to roll the food into ( slightly messy ) balls to eat. I was so full and actually not much of a fish eater but after seeing the pride and work that had gone into the meal – around 15 of us made it – I dug in and it was an experience I won’t forget.

Lastly one night we ventured away from the lodge and were taken to a small beach restaurant, more like a shack with open sides with the kitchen of the restaurant being quite a distance from the actual dining area . There was an unexpected nearly 2 hour wait for food – they had opened the restaurant just for us – so about halfway through our wait we went for a walk and found a dead shark on the beach! A little startling as we had been in the water earlier that day. When we got back food was ready to be served ( at that point we didn’t know what it would be – I was hoping for anything but fish ) and it was Gambian Ladyfish with a potato side and one of the vibrant salads we had become used to. Its important on holidays or even just in day to day life to just try things you wouldn’t normally. If I go to a restaurant I would never normally choose fish yet this meal was delicious, incredibly fresh and it really encouraged me to start being more adventurous with what I eat.

All this reminiscing has made me really want to book a trip! For now I am satisfying my exotic food urges by trying out new Glorious soups each month. I am still on the Skinnylicious path and loving this range of soups, whilst I yet again think the New England Butternut squash is hard to beat I am loving the Goan Tomato & Lentil – I tend to split the pot into two and have it for two days lunch in work with some flatbreads. Its packed with flavour, really makes me feel like I have eaten a meal and keeps me going until my main meal later that day. As part of the Skinnylicious range it of course has less than 150cals per pot and this one has just 1.3% fat and is gluten free and vegetarian too.

At home I have LOVED the new Texas Four Bean Chilli..I serve it with a little pot of grated cheese and some pitta or other type of bread for dunking. It is so satisfying with just enough of a chilli kick and with the addition of the cheese it tastes pretty indulgent too. The four beans are haricot, red kidney, black eyed and black turtle beans with Texan spices like Ancho chilli. This is also Vegetarian, Dairy and Gluten Free.

Isn’t it funny how experiences from our travels can shape us? Trips such as the one above made me try new foods, to add more spice and just accept that if I didn’t enjoy it at least I had tried. Can you believe that up until the age of 25 I didn’t like olives..or blue cheese or anything hot such as jalapeños?? Now I am liberal with the fresh chilli and pickled jalapeños , blue cheese and brie are my favourites and ahh olives… I wonder if I would have become a food blogger if I had stayed a fussy eater? I doubt it. Now I will try anything and whilst I still wouldn’t opt for sushi I have added a whole list of foods to my love list!

Check in next month to see what Glorious Soups I am recommending!

I am a blogger ambassador for Glorious and receive vouchers and am compensated for my time.

Its Twirlywooooooo Time

March 7, 2016 · by munchiesandmunchkins · Leave a Comment

Never heard of a Twirlywoo? Chances are you don’t have an under 5 living at home. Twirlywoos is a popular TV series on the CBeebies channel and a programme both my girls have enjoyed. They have had quite a few of the Twirlywoo toy range products over the last twelve months and have loved them all. The talking range appeals to my girls the most with Chloe being particularly enamoured.

They are brightly coloured, soft and squidgy and some are programmed with popular catchphrases from the show. Most recently we tried out one of the Twirlywoo run along fun toy from Golden Bear Toys. We were sent a Toodloo who is bright red and makes lot of silly fun noises. You press its hand and it runs along in the Twirlywoo way which had our girls desperately trying to mimic the movements.

It works best on a smooth hard surface although it also managed ( just about ) on our soft lounge carpet. The girls have had hours of fun with it and the only complaint is that they don’t have two of them so they can race them about! I would recommend it for children 18months plus, my 2 year old and 4 year old have enjoyed it together. I do have a super cute video of them playing with it but my computer is refusing to play ball and won’t let me load it but I will add it when I figure it out!

For now look at this instagram video of the unboxing:

A video posted by Munchiesandmunchkins (@munchiesandmunchkins) on Feb 15, 2016 at 6:14am PST

* We were sent a Twirlywoo toy to try out.

What I know About Being A Mother

March 5, 2016 · by munchiesandmunchkins · Leave a Comment

I used to think that motherhood was simple. You got pregnant..you gave birth… you became a mum..your children did as you asked and life whilst different in some ways was much the same as before.

As with lots of other expectations about life I was wrong.

Firstly motherhood is never simple.

The phrase “You wait until you have your own children” said by my mum when I stayed out too late or worried her in ways that actually cause me pain to imagine them now has never rung truer. How much worry it must have caused when I wasn’t where I said I was at the time I said I would be.

I knew I would love my children. We are all led to believe that and that belief was correct.

BUT…never did I imagine the all consuming depth of the love I feel for them. To the point where sometimes I actually feel that I love them TOO much. The worry that never really leaves your mind completely about their safety, their health and well everything else. How many nights I have lain in my bed and thought my (sleeping) girls are too quiet..maybe I should just check on them ..one more time. That I already worry about the days when I won’t know where they are all of the time.. what can I say? My mind is too active.

The guilt I would feel each and every time I decided to do something for myself. I am a great believer in having time to yourself and time with your partner too I guess but a little part of me tells me I should be with our daughters all the time. Your relationship with your partner is one which needs focus because children take so much from you and they need you to be strong for them. Yes you have enough love for everyone but is there time in each day to share a moment with your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife? To have a conversation that isn’t interrupted or a meal eaten together whilst warm.

How much I value our parents. When we have a night away our girls are over the moon, we aren’t missed. In fact a sleepover at their grandparents is an adventure and they have a bond which I treasure. They have volumes of love for their nannas and grandpas and grandmas. Love which makes my love for my parents even stronger. How lucky are we to be able to see this relationship between our children and our parents grow before our eyes.

Jealousy. Did you think before your children arrived that you could feel jealous of their affection for another? Because at some point I think we can all admit this is true. Fleeting it may be but when your 2 year old looks at you and says I don’t want you I want Daddy my sensible side says that I have been with her all day and he hasn’t. She missed him. My not so sensible side asks me what I did wrong. Perhaps its a moment where you see your 4 yr olds face light up as they spot their favourite teacher. I am so happy that Izzy loves her school and her teaching team are truly wonderful but I am the woman she looks up to..aren’t I? Of course I am not. Not all the time anyway. These moments are brief but there.

Despair. How does your child not understand when you are at the end of your tether. When you have had a bad day in work. When you are sad. These are the days they will push ALL of your buttons. Some days I am willing bedtime to come around. I get angry and even tearful as I feel like nothing I say is even getting through to them. Then its bedtime, we have stories and hugs and a little voice reaches out as I walk out of the room..I really love you mum..to the moon and back ..to the planets..round and round to the moon and back and to the festivals. That is so much. Its gone. The anger, the desperate feeling that you aren’t managing. They love you, you are their world. They push you because they know you will still be there whatever they do. The next day will be better.

Finally there is the feeling of not being the best mother you can be. After all you only get one shot at being their mum. If you mess it up then you could mess them up?! A wise woman ( my mum ) told me once that if I wasn’t a good mother I would not worry about being a bad one. Love, Food, Home – this is all children really need from you. Accepting that has made my life easier. I can beat myself up about every decision I make or I can enjoy being a mother. Do the best I can when I can. Be everything I want to be whilst being a mother. Showing them that dreams can be achieved.

I know so much about how to be a good mother because I have a truly excellent one. I learn from her every day. She is the woman I look up to. Motherhood is a million things, wrapped up into a ball. I will never know all of these things but I try to ensure I know the important ones and don’t dwell on the ones I do not.

Camp Bestival…Food Festival? The Feast Collective 2016

Like this:

Beef Cobbler With Rosemary & Cheese Scones #LivePeasant