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You are here: Home / Archives for munchiesandmunchkins

What Are the Signs You Suffer From Depression?

August 2, 2023 · by munchiesandmunchkins · Leave a Comment

https://unsplash.com/photos/vXymirxr5ac

Although depression is one of the most common mental health struggles across the country (and even the world), it still comes with a stigma. Many people do not understand what depression means and these same people may even be suffering from depression themselves. While it can be difficult to treat, especially when those with depression resist help, it becomes easier if you can recognise the signs of depression.

Suppose you haven’t felt yourself lately but cannot determine why. It could be depression that can manifest in various ways. Just to be sure, consider these most common signs you suffer from depression to encourage you to take action and help yourself. 

You’ve Lost Your Appetite

One of the most common symptoms of depression is losing your appetite. Even when you do eat, you may find food tastes bland, almost ashy. You wonder if you’ll ever enjoy food again. Studies have found the link between taste and appetite is clear, and while there could be other reasons you have lost your appetite and cannot taste anything, there’s a strong chance that the true answer is depression.

You Don’t Find Any Joy In Your Hobbies

Once upon a time, you had hobbies; things you loved to do; activities that brought you joy. But these days may be long gone and now you can’t find enjoyment in anything you do. Whether it’s exercise, reading, playing games, or simply watching TV, nothing feels fun. You’re just going through the motions waiting until you can go to bed or start work tomorrow. This issue is often a sign of depression, but you can explore these hobbies that can help when you are depressed to overcome the problem and hopefully find something you love again. 

Your Sleep Habits Have Changed

People with depression also experience a shift in their sleep habits. This shift could go one of two ways. You might suffer from insomnia and struggle to get a decent night’s sleep, or you might find that you sleep too much because you don’t feel there’s anything worth getting out of bed for. While having a lie-in now and then is okay (and even beneficial for self-care), doing it too often could impact your career, relationships, and physical well-being. 

You’re Going Through Mood Swings

You could also be going through significant mood swings that you cannot explain and these mood swings are putting a strain on your relationships with your partner, friends and family, and even your coworkers. However, you could also experience more severe mood swings that could result in suicidal ideation as you feel like that is the only escape. Most people assume people with depression are always sad, but that isn’t strictly true, and they can look and feel good, although the lows are always worse than the highs. 

You Don’t Have Energy

The reality of depression fatigue can hit you harder than you expect but it can also explain a lot and help you identify your problems, which will encourage you to take things more seriously. If you struggle to get out of bed or don’t feel up to meeting friends, it could be due to fatigue caused by your depression. This issue makes it difficult to stay healthy and can interfere with your workout and exercise routine as much as anything else. 

You Don’t Feel You’re Worth It

All of your depressive symptoms can culminate in thinking you’re not worth it, which can also risk suicidal ideation as well as other problems that include imposter syndrome, anxiety, and paranoia. Whether you feel that the people you see on social media are the definition of perfect (they aren’t) or you assume that every compliment you get is someone making fun of you, your depression plays incredible tricks on your mind and you will begin to convince yourself that it’s right, but that is never the case.

It’s Challenging to Focus

Depression makes it challenging to focus on anything. You can struggle to pay attention at work which could harm your performance. You may discover that you can’t read more than a few sentences of a book without switching off and needing to reread it. The same goes for TV and movies. Furthermore, driving a car could be catastrophic. There are other reasons you could struggle to focus, such as untreated ADHD, but if you feel you’re typically adept at staying focused, it could be the depression rearing its ugly head. 

You’re Indulging In Risky Behavior

People who experience depression can get to the point when they want to experience something different, which causes them to engage in risky behavior that will only affect them, but also their friends and family or even strangers. Risky behavior could include personality changes where they indulge in things they would not have done before. It could also lead to taking drugs or binge drinking. 

You Experience More Anxiety

Many people suffer from anxiety, especially workplace anxiety where you always feel you’re seconds from being fired. Depression and anxiety have a common connection, and if you suffer from one thing, there’s more chance of suffering from the other. If you feel anxious about money, work, friends, or just the state of the world, you could consider this a significant sign of depression, so it’s worth taking steps to solve it. 

You Feel Lost Or Hopeless

It’s likely you also feel lost or hopeless like life is not worth living. There are various levels at which this can impact you and everyone thinks this once in a while but that doesn’t mean everyone is depressed. Instead, it becomes an issue if you only think about how hopeless your life is. If this sounds familiar, checking yourself into rehab for depression can help you learn coping mechanisms to work through your struggles and come out the other side feeling better.

The Signs

It is easy to miss the signs of depression when you don’t want to see them. However, you must recognize when you feel different and are not entirely yourself. It may not always be depression, but severe mood swings and feeling lost often point to more significant issues. The sooner you study yourself and consider what is wrong, the sooner you can take action and work on getting better.

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Filed Under: Depression ·

Date Night With One Fine Dine

August 1, 2023 · by munchiesandmunchkins · 1 Comment

*Gifted*

Last month I was invited to try out the September Date Night package with One Fine Dine. One Fine Dine is an award winning fine dining experience that you can experience in your own home. All meals are delivered fresh and chilled with easy-to-follow heating and plating instructions on video or printed cards making the whole experience fun and interactive.

Having tried one or two similar experiences in the past with other companies I was excited to see what One Fine Dine brought to the table so to speak. Let’s start with the ordering process. The website is well structured and easy to use with each course having several options to choose from. You can choose your delivery date from any date Tuesday – Saturday and as well as food there are drink options such as wine and cocktails that you can add to your order. The package we chose from included an amuse bouche, starter, main, dessert, petit fours and a bottle of wine which we asked to switch to cocktails as neither of us are big wine drinkers. the whole package including delivery costs £195.00.

What did we choose?

For starters I chose the Goats Cheese and roasted pepper roulade for me and he opted for the trout.

For mains we both opted for the Free range Pork loin and belly which came with a selection of vegetables. I really enjoyed the ease of reheating and the explanations for plating were simple to follow and for someone who loves cooking it was really good fun to play about with the styling of the food on the plate.

For dessert I had the Black Forest Gateaux and he chose the Tropical Eton Mess. Everything is provided in perfect portions including the sauces and herbs.

Nothing goes to waste. I loved my gateaux but the tropical eton mess which of course I had to try was full of juicy flavour and so fresh. A special shout out for the yuzu gel and the macerated pineapple which I could eat by the bowlful.

To finish we had a selection of handmade petit fours which were just delicious.

We both agreed the best part of the meal was the main ( which in my opinion is how it should be ) the pork was just incredible and melt in the mouth. You would never have guessed this was a meal that we had reheated. It felt like it had been served fresh to our table and all in all it was a special dining experience and the fact we could eat it cwtched up in my living room just added to that.

You can check out the Autumn date Night package here or the Christmas option here which looks incredible.

If you fancy a night off from cooking you could try out some private dining options from Square Meal UK for a special date night in your own private dining rooms which to me sounds pretty intimate and great for those celebratory occasions.

If you are on more of a strict budget and need to whip up something in your own home from your grocery shop check out my Welsh Lamb recipe here.

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Filed Under: Restaurant reviews ·

The Business Of Happiness With Xero

August 1, 2023 · by munchiesandmunchkins · 2 Comments

A little while ago I was invited to try out a new service which aims to make organising the financial side of a small business just that little bit easier. As I was previously hoping to make the step from part time to full time blogger it’s something that appealed to me..unfortunately that is on hold for the present time as I am still unwell.

I’ll admit that I am not the most organised person in the world so anything which helps to keep it all that little bit simpler is a great help.

Let’s be honest we all want things that will make our personal and business lives that bit easier. Over the coming years I imagine that artificial intelligence for business will make things even simpler especially for those who want to keep their company small without adding many more employees. Industrial Vision Systems have a lot of informative articles if you want to learn more.

What is Xero:

Xero is an online accounting software for small businesses.

It has all the time-saving tools you need to grow your business: unlimited users and 24/7 support.

Xero thinks your business should be a happy place, business can be blissful.

HAPPINESS.

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What do we think:

One of the features that interested me was the ability to send online invoices and be notified when they are opened and actioned. Its also easier for your clients as they can literally click one button to pay the invoice by credit card or Paypal. I imagine the ease of the transaction would encourage people to pay quickly so you get your money in a timely manner – always a bonus. You can also personalise the invoice templates with your logo and details so that it will look more professional.

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I love that there is an app. I already use my online banking app daily to keep up with my accounts but this makes everything easier. Chasing overdue invoices while I’m on the school run and also ideal for keeping track of your expenses such as train travel or working lunches etc.

Xero app

You can use Xero to pay bills and connect to over 350 apps which means you can really streamline your business. Perhaps you use an app for tracking time spent on a particular account – this would then be linked to Xero which would make invoicing that little bit simpler. You also have the options of fast bank reconciliation, creating purchase orders, claiming expenses and to organise your payroll – if you have one.

The starter account on Xero is £9 per month and if you want to try it out yourself first there is a 30 day free trial option.

I have only been trying out Xero for a few weeks and because I’ve unwell for some of it I haven’t really been able to review it as thoroughly as I’d like but from what I’ve seen and used I can definitely recommend it and I’ll keep you updated with how I feel in a few weeks time.

You can find out more about Xero and The Business of Happiness here.

* I was given a free trial to review this and a voucher for my time.

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Filed Under: random · Tagged: Mumsnet, Xero review

Fathers Day Gift Guide 2023

June 9, 2023 · by munchiesandmunchkins · Leave a Comment

Fathers Day is fast approaching and I wanted to share you with a few ideas for gifts.

First up we have Great Drams. What do they have to say?

Award-winning from our first dram, with one of our most recent award wins being in the most prestigious global whisky competition describing our whisky as being “amongst the finest products in the world”, we will introduce whisky drinkers to their next favourite. GreatDrams is a family business bringing great quality, limited edition whiskies and whiskeys to the people, all at a fair price and never compromising on flavour.

GreatDrams was launched with the aim to make great whisky more approachable & available. We are experts in finding incredible tasting rare casks of whisky.

Next up we have Skates.co.uk They have the best selection of scooters, skateboards and accessories for the more adventurous dad. We love the Nitro Circus Ryan Williams Scooter.

Joe and Sephs have always got a great selection of gift items to suit most budgets. We especially love their Budweiser popcorn and their chocolate popcorn slabs.

If you fancy getting a gift for the whole family why not go for this Yonex Badminton set from BadmintonHQ.

Caru spirits are a new brand to me who I am looking forward to working with as a brand ambassador over the coming months. Here’s what they have to say about their product:

Our smooth superior British brandy liqueur has a sweet seductive aroma of brandied raisins, vanilla and fresh orange. On the palate, velvet cocoa and coffee give way to light spiced prunes with a subtle hint of ginger to close. Caru is an artisanal premium liqueur sustainably produced in the UK. Developed by one of the UK’s master distillers in his award-winning distillery, Caru is a re-imagination of a timelessly elegant spirit with a hint of the exotic and a luxurious taste – a timeless tonic with a modern twist, bringing a touch of spice to a traditionally strengthening spirit to warm and comfort.

If you want to save some pennies use the promo code: MUNCHIES for 5% off.

Caru Brandy Liqueur

* Some products in this guide have been gifted for the purpose of this post.

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Filed Under: Gift Guide ·

Turning 40

May 25, 2023 · by munchiesandmunchkins · Leave a Comment

Last week I turned 40. And it feels strange, not in a bad way. To grow older is a privilege and particularly knowing the health scares I’ve had the last three years I feel that I am lucky. There are people from my school year who have not made it this far and every day we are here is a blessing. But being 40 and feeling still 25 in your head is a strange feeling. When I was younger I looked at 40 year olds and thought they had mastered life, they had it all figured out, they were always sensible and responsible and well old I guess. I’m lucky to be 40 at a time when women are still starting careers and families at this age, women are still considered in their prime and this was not the case 20 or even 10 years ago. There is still time and hopefully plenty of it to change career paths or move home or improve health and fitness which is my focus right now.

I’m struggling a lot with my health at present but I am lucky in so many ways. I have two absolutely amazing, kind and loving daughters who make me so happy every day. I have an incredible partner who supports me even when I have bad days and makes me feel loved and beautiful. I have the best parents you could ask for who I see or speak to every day and who are the best role models I could ask for in life. I have my siblings who help me and are there for me who I love so much and I have great friends who know just how to make me smile and I’m still here. I am not where I want to be in terms of health but my life is still full and I’m determined to make this year a positive one even if things decline.

It is too easy sometimes to focus on the bad. To feel angry at the world at how unfair it is that I am going through this pain with seemingly no end but although I don’t always feel it I am strong and I will get through it.

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Filed Under: Life, long covid ·

Extravagant Ideas for Your Vow Renewals: Celebrate Your Love in Style!

May 17, 2023 · by munchiesandmunchkins · Leave a Comment

Vow renewal ceremonies are an exquisite way to commemorate your everlasting love for one another, so why not make your ceremony an extravagant affair? This blog post presents seven extravagant ideas that will make your ceremony truly remarkable: from breathtaking locations and themes, these ideas add an air of luxury and grandeur that is sure to make this day’s occasion truly memorable. So let’s dive into this world of extravagant vow renewals together and make our celebration unforgettable!

Via Pixabay

Create a Travel Extravaganza

If you and your partner want to make your vow renewal an exceptional event, consider having the ceremony in a beautiful destination. For example, Lake Como weddings can create an unforgettable backdrop for your vows. Or, if you’re looking for something closer to home, you could choose a stunning beach or mountain location.

Themed 

Create the wedding of your dreams by having a themed vow renewal ceremony! Be it elegant Roaring Twenties glamor, fantasy fairytale magic, or tropical paradise charm, embrace a theme that speaks to both you and your guest’s personalities and passions – elaborate costumes, immersive decor, and themed activities will bring this magical event alive, making sure that this momentous milestone event in your lives becomes genuinely spectacular!

Luxury Cruise Renewal 

Make memories that stand the test of time by opting for luxurious cruise renewal celebrations. Board a luxury cruise ship and enjoy romantic ceremonies on board as well as breathtaking sights at each port of call. Cruise lines provide customizable packages explicitly tailored to each passenger to ensure a hassle-free and luxurious vow renewal experience; from private balconies with ocean views to gourmet dining and world-class entertainment, it will create memories that last a lifetime!

Consider an Aerial Adventure

For a luxurious vow renewal experience, why not go on an aerial adventure? Exchange vows while floating high above the clouds in a hot air balloon, helicopter, or private jet – taking in breathtaking views such as those found at Grand Canyon, Swiss Alps, or Serengeti, for example – an aerial adventure will create an unforgettable and extraordinary memory that you and your guests won’t soon forget!

Celebrity Wedding

Consider channeling celebrity weddings when planning an extravagant vow renewal that exudes glamor and luxury. From lavish venues to designer attire, recreate the magic of celebrity celebrations by including luxurious decor, floral arrangements, gourmet cuisine, professional photographers/videographers to capture every moment perfectly, and even inviting an established artist or band to perform at your ceremony if the budget allows it. Emulating celebrity weddings will ensure that this ceremony stands out from others as one to remember for years!

Castle

Make your vow renewal magically unforgettable by hosting it at an elegant castle. These grand buildings, beautiful gardens, and rich histories create the ideal atmosphere for an extravagant celebration – choose one with accommodation options so the festivities can stretch over several days and organize activities such as guided tours, medieval banquets, and fireworks displays for an added touch of grandeur. So don your regal attire as you exchange vows in one of the charming courtyards or chapels at this fairytale castle affair; create unforgettable memories in an event fit for royalty. Combine this with some Champagne for New Years Eve in the castle garden at the start of the countdown and you’ll have a super magical backdrop to make use of!

Exclusive Resorts

Revel in luxury and seclusion by hosting your vow renewal celebration at an exclusive resort retreat. Choose a resort known for its impeccable service, breathtaking views, and incredible amenities; these resorts can be found nestled into mountains, perched upon private islands, or located deep within tropical paradises and offer luxurious venues and accommodation options such as spa treatments, intimate dining experiences and personalized services that allow you to relax while celebrating romantically and lavishly.

Your vow renewal is an opportunity to celebrate your everlasting love in grand style and extravagance. From choosing an idyllic destination, themed extravaganza, or private retreat – – each will create a memorable and extravagant event to commemorate the two of you and create lasting memories together. Embark upon an extravagant adventure and make memories you will treasure forever.

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Filed Under: Life ·

6 Ways You Can Improve Your Health Starting Today

May 16, 2023 · by munchiesandmunchkins · Leave a Comment

Pixabay

We all want to be as healthy as possible but the truth is, being healthy is hard work. It’s also time consuming so it can seem like somewhat of a hassle. When you’re busy running around and taking care of all your other responsibilities, your health can sometimes fall to the bottom of your priority list.

So, when you do get a second to think about your health, it’s important to be mindful of things you can do there and then to improve your general health. Here are some simple things you can start making a healthy habit right now.

Drink More Water

Whenever you get five minutes throughout your day, go fill a glass full of water and drink it. Many people don’t drink nearly as much water as they should each day. It’s one of those things that can seem like more of an inconvenience at first but the more you do it, the easier it will become second nature.

It can help to take a drinks bottle with you wherever you go and keep refilling when you need to. Drinking water has tons of benefits including healthier skin, fewer headaches, and it helps vitamins and nutrients get to your body faster.

Sleep Well

Too many people don’t get the right amount of sleep. There could be many reasons for this. From insomnia to anxiety, pain to young children waking in the night. So, when you know there are times when you can’t sleep well, it’s even more important to make good sleep a priority.

Get into a good routine in the hour leading up to going to bed. Set that time aside to rest your mind and your body by doing things that help you to relax.  Instead of staying up late to watch your favourite tv show, go to bed and rest.

Cut Down On Bad Habits

Everyone has bad habits and they aren’t easy to stop. However, some bad habits can be bad for our health and it can help to at least cut down on them. For instance, if you’re a smoker, cutting down by using an e-cigarette instead can improve your health. The Aspire Flexus Q kit is a good place to start.

Similarly, if you find yourself drinking too much alcohol, it can help to limit yourself to one glass with an evening meal. Stopping bad habits is one of the more difficult ways to improve health but it’s certainly worth doing.

When it comes to cutting down on bad habits, it’s also worth stopping and thinking about what defines a bad habit. It should be about ourselves and what we think. And what’s good for our bodies. So take a minute to think about what you’re putting in you’re body and what you’re putting it through. Drinking more water is good for it. So is swapping sugary drinks for healthy alternatives like kombucha. But making time for yourself is also excellent for you. 

The point is, it’s about tailoring the experience to you, to your individual life, body, and mind. 

Spend Time Outdoors

The rain has finally stopped (or has it?) The point is, when you get the opportunity to spend time outdoors, take it. As the summer months arrive, there will be plenty to do outdoors so it’s your chance to embrace the benefits of it for your health. Firstly, spending time in the sun is the best way to soak up some vitamin D. Just be sure to protect your skin with sunscreen.

Secondly, it’s a great excuse to do some exercise too. Whether you’re walking, swimming, surfing, or going on a family bike ride, exercise is a great way to boost your health and your mood. Thirdly, people often spend time outdoors with others and socialising is essential for good physical and mental health.

Eat Your Greens

Having a healthy, balanced diet is a must when you want to see the benefits for your own health. Arguably, there’s nothing more important than eating your greens. Green vegetables have so many advantages to them. They contain iron for your energy levels, they’ll make your skin glow, help your digestion, and even improve your mood.

You only need a small portion of greens on the side of your meal to feel these benefits. You can even add them to a smoothie if you find them difficult to eat.

Take 5 Minutes

Everything can change in five minutes. When life becomes overwhelming it can help to delay before making a reaction. Stopping to take five minutes to sit and settle can change the course of everything that happens next.

It can also have a dramatic effect on your health. Stress isn’t good for anyone so the less stress in your life, the better you’ll feel. If stopping for five minutes can stop you from making decisions you’ll regret, it will mean you’re less stressed.

Improving your health for the long run requires a long-term commitment but there are many ways you can get started right now. If you’ve enjoyed reading this article, take a look at the rest.

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Filed Under: Life ·

Ways Landlords Can Help Rental Tenants During The Testing Cost Of Living Crisis

May 9, 2023 · by munchiesandmunchkins · Leave a Comment

You’d have to be living under a rock to not know we are in difficult times financially in the UK right now. Everything has increased from general grocery shopping to mortgages and when mortgage rates go up inevitably rental rates do too. I know a growing number of people who are struggling to meet mortgage payments and an even bigger number of people who are just not able to find affordable rentals.

A friend of mine has recently found out her landlord is selling up, it is not really surprising as many landlords just cannot afford the mortgage rates that are ever increasing and are being forced to sell. Then obviously you have the fact that as the cost of quite literally everything goes up they are aware that every little thing that goes wrong with the property is going to cost the landlord that little ( or lot) more.

Finding the best possible landlord insurance can cover you for all manners of types of gripes and worries. Landlord insurance can also in turn help tenants should your property ever be affected by events like flood damage while they are living in it.

Landlord insurance can protect against common risks such as flood, fire, storms and burst pipes. It can even cover injuries to individuals in the rented property. It can also cover you if you are in the unfortunate position of your property being maliciously damaged by tenants. It can also help the tenant with costs of temporary accommodation if the property is damaged such as by fire or storm and if a large appliance such as white goods were to need replacing this is also covered meaning less time for your tenants to be without essential appliances.

This is what CIA have to say:

Why do I need landlord insurance?

If you own a property that you rent out to tenants, you should consider getting landlord insurance. It can help protect your investment and provide financial security in case of unexpected events, such as property damage, liability claims, or loss of rental income.

While it’s not legally required to have landlord insurance, many mortgage lenders may require it as a condition of the loan. Additionally, standard homeowners insurance policies typically don’t cover rental properties, so having landlord insurance is often necessary to ensure adequate protection.

Ultimately, whether or not you need landlord insurance depends on your specific circumstances. Here at CIA, we believe that landlord insurance is the best way to safeguard your financial future and protect your property investment.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized ·

Helping Your Child With a Food Allergy or Intolerance: 3 Essentials to Know

May 5, 2023 · by munchiesandmunchkins · Leave a Comment

Pixabay – CC0 Licence 

If your child comes up to you saying they’ve got a bad stomach or is sleeping a lot more or even less than normal, it can be easy to dismiss some of these things as a part of them growing up and finding their place in life. But these days, we’ve got to be a lot more careful if these are signs they have a food intolerance. It’s something that a lot of us don’t necessarily understand. But if your child is starting to show signs of an intolerance or you suspect that there may be one developing, what should you do? 

Find the Root Cause It’s a lot tougher to get a fully-fledged diagnosis of a food allergy or intolerance. Sometimes, there can be signs early in life, for example, if your child was not able to digest standard milk formula and your doctor recommended a lactose free formula, but you can find the root cause by paying attention to some of the signs that the food they’re consuming is not benefiting them.

They may be itchy or the stomach is bloated, but they also may be a lot more tired than usual. When you start to find the root cause, you can then do what is called an elimination diet. This is where you remove the food from their diet for at least 30 days to see if any symptoms improve before reintroducing it very slowly. 

Ensuring You Know the Common Culprits 

One of the biggest problems we’ve all got right now is that we need to opt for cheaper food items, but if there are foods in your child’s diet that are triggering some sort of allergic reaction or intolerance, for example, nuts, seeds, shellfish, soya, eggs, or cow’s milk, allergic reactions usually happen within a few minutes of exposure. Common allergic reactions can include coughing, a rash, a runny or blocked nose, sneezing, eczema, or worsened asthma symptoms. Lots of children could also have adverse reactions to food additives like sulphites. When you are undergoing the elimination process, have a look at the labels and see if any E numbers or colours or preservatives are present. 

Do Not Assume the Symptoms Will Disappear by Themselves Lots of people can have an undiagnosed wheat intolerance, and it can be years until they feel like they are themselves again. If your child is displaying any signs that they’ve got an allergy or intolerance, the best thing you can do is to get rid of the root cause as soon as possible. It can be a lot of responsibility on top of your already busy demands as a parent, but the fact is that if your child is struggling with tiredness or is constantly saying they’ve got a bad stomach, we shouldn’t chalk this down to growing pains. Lots of people can cope with an allergy or an intolerance, but others do not fare so well. Therefore, giving them all your support, even if you don’t know much about it, will help so much.

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Filed Under: Parenting/baby ·

Guilt

April 26, 2023 · by munchiesandmunchkins · 2 Comments

This is something that’s been on my mind for a long time. We all know that as parents parental guilt is something we all feel from time to time. For me though lately it seems to creep into every day. I hit a point last week where I just had a bit of a culmination of all of the feels and I spent the majority of the day in tears.

We’ve all had times where we feel we aren’t doing enough as parents, not doing enough activities, not taking your children to enough fun places or sometimes just not being present enough. For me being a mother is the most important role in my life, I am there for my children whenever they need me, whether that is for help with schoolwork or fun stuff or to talk about any problems they have. I know this, I know in my heart that I am doing everything and probably more than I am actually capable of at this time. But to me it’s still not enough. I am not well and haven’t been for the best part of two years but the last 12 months my physical symptoms have exacerbated to a point where most days I have physical limitations on what I can do. I have gone from being someone who walks 20,000 steps daily and is a regular gym goer to someone who really struggles on days with the school run. I can’t chase my kids around like I used to or go and do fun activities like climbing walls and trampoline parks. Does this mean I am trying less? No. Do they blame me for this? Also no. My children who are wonderfully kind and empathetic totally understand my limitations. And there for me that is the problem. I don’t want them to get it. I don’t want them to say mam don’t do that you are too tired or when will your long covid go? Or spotting my grimace when I stand or walk even when I try so hard to pretend I am fine.

Life is hard, we all know this but childhood should be free and full of joy. I try my hardest to make my children’s lives as happy and wondrous as it can be. But this, this is the hardest part of parenting I have ever done.

I know I am a good mother. I support my girls emotions. I am there for them every step of the way as they navigate growing up. I need to stop putting this stupid amount of pressure on myself to be perfect, to be what I cannot be in this moment.

I am doing everything in my power to get better, yet I may not, get better that is. I may be like this for the rest of my life or it could get worse. I am still hopeful that something will change, I cannot and will not give into it.

I hope that my girls know when they are older how hard I tried for them and look back and remember a happy and loving home in spite of this illness. I hope it doesn’t define any part of their childhood and I hope they never blame me for this.

I hope that one day this burden of guilt gets lighter. I hope I learn to give myself a break. For now writing this has helped, I know others will feel the same and I hope reading this helps you know you are not alone.

I will fight for my health harder for the ones that I love than I would purely for myself. I have to be better, for them. Not just my children but for my partner who supports me and deserves more and for my parents who I know worry about me and that is unfair.

I hope this hasn’t read as a pity party because it’s not. I know the way I speak to myself in my head is important and getting these feelings out will help me move on. I am enough, even when I am not. And so are you.

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Filed Under: long covid · Tagged: long Covid, parental guilt

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