If you have a baby or toddler there seems to be a few questions which get asked repeatedly by everyone you see, they also get debated on social media or snidely mentioned at playgroups:
1. Does he/she sleep through the night?
This is one which I got asked by pretty much every person I spoke to for the first 12 months of Izzys life. Sometimes by people without children who were curious, sometimes by my family depending on how knackered I looked but mostly by people who already had children ..perfect children who could put themselves to sleep and sleep 7-7 from an absurdly young age.. They asked me so that in turn I would ask them and then they could do the smug smile and tell me what I really did not want to hear.
Izzy is 14 months old. She has just started sleeping through the night and it’s still not a certainty. Most nights we climb into bed hoping and hoping for an uninterrupted night and luckily now.. Finally I’d say maybe 4 out of 7 nights we get it. Yay. I won’t gloat over that as I know it could change in a minute.
Sleeping ..like a baby. Hahahahahaha hahahaha.
2. Is he/she walking?
This is something I have noticed discussed more and more at playgroups and more often that not it seems to be a very competitive subject amongst the parents. Why? It’s your child learning to walk not you. If they do it at 8 months or 18 months it doesn’t make you a better parent, yes be proud of your child but please don’t tell someone whose baby is just 16 months old that perhaps they should get them checked out because they aren’t yet walking. This happened at my local playgroup last week and the poor mum looked so upset.
Izzy took her first steps at 9 months, it was exciting and I think mainly happened as she is so damn nosey. She very quickly realised that she could get about crawling a lot faster and with less bumps so she gave up on it for a while before getting back into it around 11/12 months. Now she is too fast for my liking and can climb onto tables in the blink of an eye. This is scary so please enjoy your crawling baby a little longer. They only walk when THEY are ready.
3. What can he/she say?
From reading some of the more popular baby forums you would think that all babies are putting together full sentences by the time they are one and can sign for everything they want or need. Is this really the case? Are there some super babies?
Izzy babbles A LOT but it’s mostly mam, dad, nanna or variations of and her very favourite word/sound Hiya. She doesn’t really say a lot more than that. She has learnt to say ta or mmmmm when she wants something be it food or drink and will occasionally say other words such as car, family names or a noise which sound like she is clearing her throat instead of tick tock (clock).
I don’t expect a lot more at this age and I don’t get frustrated as I know she is taking in so much. I do occasionally get a bit embarrassed by the Hiyas though. Anyone else have a baby who will not stop saying hiya.. Over and over again. Normally in quiet restaurants.
I haven’t taught Izzy any sign language and I know it’s a very popular method these days, she has learnt to point at what she likes, puts her arms up to be held or her best one of all ..going stiff and throwing her head back. I believe the last one is pretty common and pretty much just means she is peed off.
There are many more of these questions but they seem to be the most popular ones.
What can your child do? Do you feel under pressure by family/playgroupers/forumfriends/tweeters?
I’d love to know.
I’ve tried not to gloat too much about my amazing child but seriously how many of your children will do this when asked to do a trout pout?
It’s her party piece 😉
Great blog. My daughter slept as a new baby then became a nightmare when put in a proper bed. She did do signing because I taught her and amazed me at 10 months old when she signed cold after eating ice cream. But even now at 3 and half some things she says are unclear.
They all do things at their own pace and are all wonderful! Your daughter is beautiful!
Helen
Thank you very much. Children are weird and wonderful. The signing at 10 months is fab – so cute that she realised it was cold! I like your blog too.. You are as mad as me baking a few days after your baby was born. Hes very cute by the way, they both are.
Thanks for reading and commenting xx
I hate the ‘is he sleeping through the night’ question. Harley used to sleep through most nights but stopped at around six months. I have one particular friend who asks this everytime I see her. And when I say everytime I mean EVERY fricking time. It annoys me. It’s not an issue with me that he doesn’t sleep. Obviously I’d prefer a night of no wake ups but it could be worse. He settles quite quickly once he has a cuddle in our bed. Not ideal but not as bad as other people. I don’t moan about it and don’t bring it up in conversation so don’t understand why she always does. It’s starting to feel like she’s boasting about her daughter who always sleeps through. But I bite my tongue, as its also possible that psychologically, she always asks because Harley has achieved so many other milestones before her daughter despite being 6 weeks younger. For now I will put up with it but if I’m getting asked the same question in 6 months time I may snap lol.
Loving the trout pout by the way. Going to have to teach my little man this 😉
We also have a “friend” like that. Very frustrating. Your attitude towards his sleep sounds really healthy and that’s important I think. He’s a baby at the end of the day so there is no rhyme or reason to his sleep patterns.
Yes the trout pouts guarantees laughs from family and friends as does her mean face..I’ll tweet you a pic xx
Love this – what I want to know is when did potty training become de rigour from 24months on (or earlier in some cases)?
My older 2 weren’t trained till they were well over 3 years… But I’m feeling the pressure already with my now 27 month old!!
Another question is about food, eating vegetables and fruit, whole dinners the lot? My guy is terrible!
As for sleep – I had 2 non-sleepers but my 3rd sleeps! I still wake up every morning and say a prayer of thanks for a full nights interrupted sleep! I know what the opposite is like!!
Well done!
Yes I know someone who is potty training at 15 months. Crazy I know Izzy is a long way from understanding this. I’d like to potty train by 3 ready for nursery but really I don’t know if this will happen.. We shall see.
Sleep is like the holy grail for some parents and it’s good that we appreciate it when we get it!
Thanks for reading and commenting xx
I am so with you on the potty training thing! MIne is 27 months too and still in pullups, hates the sight of the potty so its in the bin! She is slowly wanting to go on the big girls toilet & we are taking it at her pace. Its enough for me now that she can tell me when she has done a poo or wee (her favourites words at present!), as I said earlier it will all come, don’t feel pressured 🙂
Scarlett is 11 months next week. Sleeps through at least 10 hrs and has done since 10 weeks. Don’t know why but thankful doesn’t even cover it!
Walking? Nope and doesn’t even like standing much. Has a good commando crawl though loses her leggings sometimes?.. Worried? Nope. She was born with DDH and had harness treatment. We’re really glad it was caught early and she’s mended. 🙂
Talk.. Mmmmm noises….? Can say Dada and Mama but not a sure bet yet. Did make a “mwah” sound the other day to mimic a book that she has…
She jiggles when she hears music. I can make her do a silly Indian wahwahwah sound if I tap her mouth. And she waves… Sort of… More like a raised hand, not waving it yet!
My niece had DDH so I understand. Izzy loves the wahwah noise too and sometime tries to do it herself it’s quite funny.
Thanks for reading and commenting xx
Stanley is 9 months today and he is way off that elusive sleeping through the night. He used to sleep from 8pm-5am at 3 months but now we’re stuck in the 4 month sleep regression where Im up at least 20 times with him per night- I get told to do controlled crying with him, but there’s no way I would do that at all, we have enough screaming already.
He’s cruising round the furniture now, he will stand alone but prefers to hold hands and explore! 🙂
He has been babbling for a while, signing for some things (he’s not been taught anything by me) but this time round I feel a lot more secure in my parenting choices- my eldest is 6 and I was a young mum and I so wanted him to be first at everything- probably to prove that I was a good mum.
I’m happy that they are both fulfilling their current potential- I try to be factual, my children are children x
Ahh I have been in that place with the countless amount of wake ups it’s not fun but at some point it will always improve.. We hope. 🙂 sounds like you also have a busy little one. Good luck and thanks for reading xx
TC slept thru from 10 weeks & hasn’t faltered since, but my first child didn’t sleep so I do know how to hold my eyelids up with matchsticks 🙂 She crawled & walked late but my philosophy is they are all different & they will all get there in the end, obviously if someone feels there is a problem then it should be addressed but I have no worries about TC. She can say various things & her understanding is frightening 🙂 as she seems to understand everything & copies anything I do!
I am on a Facebook group & although there are those that like to brag about what theirs can do, no-one puts any pressure on anyone else. I do find myself grilling mums in the park & playground sometimes though and the message is the same, they are all uniquely wonderful. Loving her party piece xx
Thanks for reading and for your comment. Your philosophy is spot on in my book xx
Hey,
I know what you mean. I joined nct and made a number of good friends who’ve been a huge support throughout motherhood. However, at times it can feel like you are not being a good parent. For example it starts with breast feeding v bottle feeding. I was the only mother who couldn’t and gave up after a week. Others did stop bf after I did but I always wonder if they would have if I hadn’t gone first?
Cutting teeth was the next, whose baby would be first? Then turning over, then sitting up then spoon feeding v baby led weaning! Now it’s who’s walking and who’s talking!!!! Patrick slept very well from 7 weeks old and I feel very blessed / lucky with him but in other areas he’s “behind”. He’s a fussy eater and not keen on lumps in his food still at 14 months! He didn’t walk til 12 months and his only words are dadda and lala. As you say they’ll do everything in their own time and we all get there eventually!!! How many adults can’t walk or talk that we know? Our babies are as individual as we are and we need to embrace their unique traits instead of comparing them like pedigree dogs!!!! That said, it can also be reassuring and wonderful to share experiences and anecdotes with others!!! Just don’t feel pressured to justify or apologise that your little one hasn’t yet learned their abcs, they’ll get there in their own time!!!
Exactly it needs to be about support not competing. I love your comment. Xx
I know exactly what you mean – we always used to get really fed up of smug parents telling us that their child slept through, whilst we looked like zombies! I think there’s far too much unspoken competition between parents. Our younger son didn’t walk until he was 14 months old, but we didn’t push him to do it or mind that much – I just figured that he’ll work it out one day!
Thanks for your comment and retweet, I agree with what you said. I still have many days when I look like a zombie .. Which is weird as I was sure prior to having Izzy that by now I would be a glamour puss again. But no.
I was very lucky (no more no less) that my son was weeks old when he slept through, although i have a pelvic condition and i am the one that doesn’t sleep through!
This time round i have learnt that sod what everyone else says you child will only do something when they are good and ready! 🙂
Thanks Jaime! I agree with letting them do it when they are ready. Are you getting more sleep now? I hope so x
thanks honey, unfortunately not :-(, however there are worse things my hubby is good with me though and on days when i been up several times in the night he lets me sleep when he gets in at tea time 🙂