I remember when Izzy was a baby how we delighted in everything she did. It was all so brand new and exciting. This time around although still delighted by Chloe we are so tired and so busy that it’s hard to spend the one on one time with her that she surely deserves as much as her sister.
Guilt.
By giving to one I’m taking away from the other.
This is our life now.
I would say until they grow up but I know that my mum still feels guilty if she spends more time with one of my siblings than another. Or with one set of grandchildren than another. It’s hard.
Will I feel guilty forever?
Hopefully not but probably so.
The only thing I can do is work around it. When Chloe naps we play games or do things with Izzy. When Izzy naps we focus on Chloe, her development etc. I can’t leave Chloe yet as she only feeds from me so for now I have started having one on one time with her when I travel to blogging events. Like today we are on our way to London. She is my sole focus. Izzy is with my OH and she is his sole focus. They each get that special attention.
When Chloe starts to feed less I plan to do more things one on one with Izzy like going to see a film or popping out for lunch. So she knows she may not be the baby anymore but she’s still just as important.
People say that the second child doesn’t develop as quickly but from my experience so far she’s doing just fine. Maybe we can’t spend hours teaching her to say Dadadadada but the look of pure joy on her face every single time she spots her big sister makes me confident we chose the right age gap.
It’s so hard at the moment but I can already see how close these two are going to be.. And then we better watch out right?
Interesting post, thanks 🙂 I’m expecting baby no 2 and have been thinking about how to juggle two children and not loose my one on one time with my daughter completely – it’s going to be tough I think! I’m more worried about the toddler as I think the baby will get lots of stimulation from its sister! But I don’t know the baby yet so I’m sure I’ll have mummy guilt for both… Sounds like you’re doing a great job of balancing both 🙂
It’s a very difficult balancing act but truly wonderful. Hope all goes well with the rest of your pregnancy and I’m sure you will enjoy being a mum of two xx
I only have one but worry how we’ll split time equally if and when a second comes along. I think for all the imbalances and times you won’t be able to split it all equally you’ve given them the biggest present of all….each other :)And yes I reckon you should probably watch out soon.
Yes it’s difficult and wonderful in equal measures. Thanks for commenting x
It’s tough and there’s always compromises but I always think the more siblings you have the better! Have you see About A Boy when he says ‘Two’s not enough, you need three at least, you need back up!’ Siblings are back up! 🙂
Thanks for the comment. I’m definitely done with two! Glad she has a sibling though. I have lots and it’s a great support.x
Really, 2nd child doesn’t develop as fast? My experience and those 2nd children I observe day to day are streets ahead of their first born siblings in terms of language and physical development. I wouldn’t stress. My no2 is nearly 18 months and I’m scared about how much she pushes herself to be like her beloved ‘brother’ (she can’t say his name, Reuben, so calls him brother, totally her decision!) x
Well”apparently” but I don’t agree either. Some say that because their older sibling can do things for them then they can become lazy but I can’t see it happening here. I love that she calls him brother. That is so sweet xx