Out of My Depth

I know I’m not the only person who feels like this. Like I’m constantly swimming and can’t find the edge of the pool so that I can have a breather.

Being a parent of two is so much harder than I imagined. Being a full time parent is so much harder than my full time job could ever be.

I am so glad that I’m taking the full year off to spend with Chloe and Izzy yet every day a little part of me tells me that at least in work I would get a lunch break.

The first few months of parenting two were hard as we were so tired. Then suddenly it got a little easier but now it’s harder again. Yes Chloe doesn’t feed quite as much in the nights so thats improved but Izzy has started to be a bit of a nightmare about going to bed.

We have tried everything, or at least it seems that way. Every night it’s taking around 3 hours for her to give in to going to sleep. It’s not that she isn’t tired as she is absolutely exhausted. We have tried cutting out her naps and it makes no difference or tiring her out with hours of outside play but nothing.

My OH is working lots of evening shifts right now which means I’m starting to get anxious and miserable from about 6pm each day as I know what’s in store for us. Chloe is usually desperate for her bed from about 7.30pm but I can’t put her to bed as Izzy shouts and bangs about in her bed waking her sister up. That means I have to put Chloe to sleep downstairs and she thinks it’s nap time so about 30 minutes later she is awake and full of beans.

The evening was my time where I would start to wind down, catch up on housework and food prep or work on my blog.

What do I do?

Reward charts? Do they even work on a not yet 3yr old?

On top of this during the day the toddler stubbornness, outright defiance and constant demands are exhausting. Chloe is at a stage of development which means she has the most gorgeous personality but needs attention with learning to roll/crawl/stand all day long.

My ironing pile is no longer a pile but a room and I’m giving the girls food from the fridge or freezer rather than made from scratch far more than I would like to.. Cue guilt.

Sometimes I just need a few hours away but Chloe won’t take a bottle so while breastfeeding it’s not really an option. So I consider giving up breastfeeding after all we are nearly at 7months which is great but then I feel guilty for stopping for an entirely selfish reason plus I will miss it.

I don’t know what to do.

Above all I know that these things are minor. We don’t have any health problems or major worries so I feel ridiculous for constantly feeling this way.

I always post about the happier sides of parenting so I thought it only fair to tell you that everything is not always rosy. Not in my house anyway.

Any tips or advice greatly appreciated.