Yesterday Chloe had her 6 month check up with our local health visitor. Technically she’s over 7 months but this is when our appointment was given. My HV once again expressed genuine surprise at me still breastfeeding. Apparently in my local area of Wales it’s very unusual for women to breastfeed past 6 months. She asked when I was thinking about stopping.

I don’t know.

A month ago I would have said soon. But now I don’t know. There are days when I get seriously frustrated at being so restricted. I can’t leave Chloe for very long and I can’t drink more than a glass of wine. I can’t drink caffeine as she doesn’t cope with it very well. I watch what I eat, I always worry that I’m not drinking or eating the right things for her. So why am I still doing it?

Because I can.

Izzy was a really difficult feeder and I didn’t get an awful lot of support from health care professionals to rectify that, by 6 months she had more or less decided she didn’t want my boobs anymore. So I expressed for another month or two and then reluctantly I stopped.

When Chloe was born one of my first concerns was will she feed? And she did. Immediately. She hasn’t stopped for breath much since.

She still feeds at least two- three times a night and whereas in the day her feeds are short n sweet her nighttime feeds are longer.. harder.

I have expressed milk and we are trying again soon to get her to feed with a new bottle as I feel that if I have that option I will carry on longer again.

Breastfeeding is hard. I don’t like it sometimes. I love it most of the time.

My nipples are sore and get bitten daily. Chloe has four teeth, two top front and two bottom front – ouch.

I love when I feed her and she reaches up to smooth my face or hold my hand.

Some days I want to cry out with the frustration of never being alone. Other days I want to cry at the thought of this short time in our lives ending.

I’m not putting a date or time or when I will stop breastfeeding. I guess one day I will just decide enough is enough. Or Chloe will decide for me. I hope it’s not soon.

Medela have released a graphic explaining and answering some of the common breastfeeding questions. The one boob or both caught my eye as Chloe was always a one boob girl but now she’s both every single time.