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11 Tips For Growing Your Instagram Organically

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I started writing this post a little while ago and I almost stopped myself, because I have only just over 5000 followers on Instagram which is small compared to many influencer accounts. Do I really have any valid tips? Should you listen to me? Well I will let you decide that for yourself. What I tend to find with every article like this that I read is that I will take away at least one bit of advice which helps even if the majority of the tips are old news to me. I hope that is the case for you reading this and that at least one tip will help you with your channel.

My Instagram account is here if you don’t already follow. I’ve been on Instagram for quite a long time now, over 5 years I think but I have only really started using it as a blog account over the past two years.

 

 

I have as of this moment 5100 ish followers, that number fluctuates quite a lot during any one day and sometimes the same people follow then unfollow then follow again.. I am sure this happens to lots of you and it is frustrating. After this happens a number of times I do tend to block these accounts as it gets a little annoying.  Anyway as I said my follower count isn’t huge but I have more than doubled it since this time last year. To me this is a massive leap and aside from a 2 day period using a follower app which was supposed to help automate my Instagram life it has all been done organically. The app was a bit of a trial and error thing, other Instagrammers were using similar services with great results but I quickly realised it was not for me. I like to know what I am liking and who I am following which is why I have decided that for me Instagram will always be a personal thing even for my blog account. I want to always have all of the control over my channel.

Instagram is a very different place now than it was even just 12 months ago, the algorithm has changed a few times and there are a lot more users posting similar content. Everyone seems to have improved the quality of their images ( probably due to better cameras on phones )  and it is harder and harder to get your posts seen. Most of my images have between 200-400 likes and a decent amount of engagement in terms of comments also, this is what is considered ( or so I’ve been told ) as a good percentage of likes to followers. After all having 100k followers is fantastic ( we can all dream )  but even if you are getting 1000 likes that is only a 1% engagement rate, this is one of the reasons why many brands and PR agencies are now choosing to work with micro influencers who may have a smaller following but a greater reach and therefore influence.

I do believe Instagram is going to continue to grow especially with the new updates to stories and the various features on there so as an influencer or as a brand you really need to be paying attention to it as a channel. A lot of the brands I now work with are especially interested in IG channel and some only want IG coverage rather than full blog posts as was previously the norm so for me it has to continue to be a focus.

I have put together a few tips that I have found have really helped me to grow not just my following but also improve my engagement and reach. Feel free to leave comments passing on your tips or questions if you have any. I am no Instagram pro but it is a channel that I love and work hard on.

Quality is key – now I am not going tell you to choose a niche, a theme or a special filter for all of your photos because I don’t do any of those things. My feed is a real mixture of life, food, travel and body positivity. A set theme can work for lots of people and I do like to look at the accounts that are oh so pretty but it is not really me. However if you just improve the quality of your photos then you will get more likes and follows and engagement. That means not posting that blurry shot even if it was of something cool, it doesn’t mean the actual content shouldn’t be real, post life as it is if that is what you want but try to make sure the image is bright and sharp. Not all of my photos are excellent quality ( I am working on it ) and I am not a natural photographer but for the most part they are a whole lot better than the images I posted a year ago. Can I tell you a secret? ALL of my Instagram photos from the last six months are phone shots, no DSLR, no fancy editing tools apart from the ones on my phone.
Let people see YOU. Sometime last year a friend commented that I didn’t post many selfies, which was true. 99% of my feed up until last Autumn was food content which is great as that is what I primarily blog about BUT you didn’t get to know much about me or see who I am. I now post occasional selfies, even though it still makes me feel kind of weird and the engagement is always dramatically increased. People like to see the person behind the account. It means they are generally less likely to unfollow you as they feel a more personal connection and also they will interact more often. Also get personal at times with your posts. My two highest posts for engagement and reach are photos of me relating to body confidence. I was amazed on both occasions at the reaction the photos they got and I realise it is because it is relatable.
Ask a question. Want people to engage? Ask them something, for advice or their favourite product or film etc. One of my most engaged posts was a post asking about whether I should cut my hair..yes it’s trivial but people like to get involved and it is a good way to start conversation with your followers. If you don’t have a question to ask perhaps you could write a longer, more interesting caption. Instead of saying look at my chocolate cake you could explain why you decided to make the cake that day or tell your followers a little about your day. Longer captions get more likes.. not pages long though, sometimes I have to stop myself as I like to ramble, can you tell?
Reply. Reply. Reply. I need to listen to my own advice on this as I don’t always do it but I try to. If someone has taken the time to comment on your post especially if it is something more than a standard great photo comment try and take the time to reply. It can mean a lot to people and it shows you actually appreciate the interaction so therefore they are more likely to do it again. At the very least like the comment so they get a notification to show you have acknowledged it. You could set aside a time each week where you answer your comments in bulk.
Be prepared to like lots of photos. If you want people to visit your feed then they need to know it is there. Use hashtags to find people with similar interests and then go and take the time to scroll through their feed, like a few of the photos and perhaps comment on one or two – this is the quickest way to get return visits to your feed. Make your comments meaningful. Yes I am all for using emojis at times but make sure you don’t look like a bot. Engage with fellow influencers as much as you can, you may find they will be your biggest supporters. Find your tribe as they say.
Start using stories. I didn’t get on the snapchat bandwagon when everyone else did and although I now have an account, I don’t actually use it very much if at all. I do however love IG stories and try to use them 5 out of 7 days out of the week if I can. I have made short cooking videos, shared my average day and also used it to highlight brands and destinations whilst on press trips. It is a great way for your following to get to know you and I get great results from it. I am not entirely sure how they get shown to people who don’t follow you but on the days I post a few stories I get more followers. I also get a lot of messages replying to my stories and I have also had work on the back of it via messages from brands.
Go Live. Kind of like IG stories but live so it is a little scarier but also kind of awesome. I have done 3 or 4 live chats now and I am hoping to start scheduling some regular ones in weekly. It is fun as your viewers can leave comments and then you can reply using your voice rather than having to type and my followers seem to love my accent, I am a little bit Welsh. My last live was whilst watching this rather spectacular sunset and I decided to go live spur of the moment to share it with my followers.


Don’t be afraid to follow people. I know a lot of influencers don’t like to follow lots of other accounts as they prefer the following/follower ratio to be more distinctive and I understand that but if you love IG as I do, follow people. I follow around 2000 people currently and if someone follows me and I like the look of their account or they engage regularly I always follow back.
Research. There are lots of articles on how to make IG work for you. Read them. I have found a lot of helpful tips and also follow the big influencers, watch what they do and learn. There are a lot of FB groups you can join for help with IG also, send me a message if you want any recommendations.

Timing is everything. If you have a business account you will get analytics which tell you when your followers are most active, try sticking to those times and see how it works for you. If you post at 3am and most of your followers are in the same time zone you are unlikely to get a decent response. If you don’t have a business account then you can figure it out yourself by keeping track of your times and when your posts do well and manually gauging it.
Enjoy it. As with most things when it is forced people can see it. Share content you like, don’t always accept brand collaborations if they won’t sit well with your following or go against your own values. I wouldn’t promote a diet pill or tea too for example and I have been asked to on a few occasions.

You can find more posts I’ve written about Instagram and the Instagrammers I love here.

Premier Inn Docklands Review

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In April I attended the Traverse Conference, it was the first time I’d attended and it was a fantastic experience. For those that don’t know, Traverse is a digital influencers conference held in different locations each year. It is primarily aimed at travel bloggers but most of the sessions centre around social media and growing your blog or channel and are great for all kinds of influencers. This year the conference was held at The Ravensbourne, next to the O2 arena in London. I had recently been invited to review a Premier Inn in London and so I opted to stay at the Premier Inn Docklands whilst I attended the conference and I was incredibly impressed with my stay.

It was the first time I’ve stayed at a Premier Inn in quite a few years and wow they have really changed. Although they are known as a budget hotel chain ( rooms at this particlular one start at just £44.50) they have the quality and consistency that you can expect at hotels that are far more costly. The Docklands hotel is clean, bright and has everything you need for a leisurely stay including a budget friendly restaurant which serves until 10pm. It is close enough to London that you can access everything easily enough via the DLR or connecting tube stations but can I make a confession…I used Uber the whole time I was there as I do on most of my trips to London. I visit London a lot but I’m not really London savvy and I am not the biggest fan of underground travel!

On arrival at the hotel the reception staff were friendly and helpful, I had a minor glitch at check in and they did the very British thing of grabbing me a cup of tea whilst I waited which of course always gets brownie points.

My room was clean and spacious with a super comfy kingsize bed with the softest yet most supportive pillows I have lain my head upon in a long time. In fact they are so famous for their comfort that you can now buy the beds and pillows via the Premier Inn website, a few of my twitter followers have done so and I am sorely tempted myself. I also had a spare single bed in my room which was handy as I had a gatecrasher in the form of my friend Karen from Mini Travellers on the Saturday night which was fun, like a teenage sleepover with sweets and crisps.

Breakfast at the hotel was a delight on both days, in fact it is one of the most decent hotel breakfasts I’ve had and by far the best from a budget hotel. It was mostly self service although you could order omelettes and poached eggs via a member of staff which I did for research purposes of course. There is a wide selection of both hot food as well as yoghurts, pastries, fruit and NUTELLA!  I also enjoyed the serve yourself Costa Coffee machine as I am a caffeine addict in the mornings.

My room overlooked  the DLR line and I expected it to be noisy but all I can say is that the room must be very well insulated as I am a light sleeper and wasn’t disturbed once. In fact I slept very well which is always a huge relief to me as I suck at sleeping, the beds really are  incredibly comfortable and the bedding crisp and cool and I can see why they offer a good nights sleep guarantee! I also enjoyed having a really long soak in the bath..TWICE ok..three times during my stay, I do love a good bath.

I would highly recommend a stay at Premier Inn Docklands on your next trip to London. Have you stayed at a Premier Inn recently? What did you think?

  • As stated I was invited to review the hotel and as such my stay including breakfast was complimentary.

Panasonic Slow Juicer Review

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My final product to test in my role as a Panasonic Ambassador is the Slow Juicer MJ-L500. I have been wanting to try out a juicer for some time now so it was fun getting to play about with this gadget.  I have always loved freshly squeezed orange juice and the citrus smell always reminds me of festivals where I tend to stroll the food and drink stalls in the morning always craving a glass of something cool and zingy after a late night.

I have always thought of making freshly squeezed juice at home as bit of a faff. Traditional smoothie makers only bits the fruit rather than juicing and juicing my hand takes way too long. This slow juicer is impressive. The stainless steel screw rotates pressing and crushing at the same time to extra maximum liquid and nutrition. The pulp and any peel or pith is funnelled into a separate container which you can pop straight into your food waste, compost or depending on what you are juicing perhaps you could even use it in a recipe. The carrot pulp works well straight into veggie soups or bolognese sauce. I used the frozen function to juice some berries and frozen pineapple I had into a sorbet which was incredibly refreshing but I mostly used fresh fruit and veggies to stop them going to waste.

My favourite combo was this one below:

Orange, Carrot & Lime Juice

1 large orange

2 carrots

1/2 lime

The machine is so easy to use, just cut your fruit into manageable chunks to feed into the tube at the top and watch as your juice slowly drips out below. This juice was zingy and fresh and I felt so good after drinking it. Adding some carrots in instantly makes me feel like I am giving myself a boost of veggie goodness.

Product highlights:

Low-speed compression
Pressed and squeezed slowly to retain nutrients and preserve the vitamins
Durable
Tough stainless steel blade provides perfect results
Frozen attachment – perfect for sorbets.
Innovative frozen attachment ideal for preparing iced drinks and frozen desserts.Another thing I liked about this product is how compact it is, it takes up the surface space of an average sized kettle. This means I was far more likely to use it over and over again as I didn’t feel I needed to pack it away every day. I found cleaning fairly simple which was surprising as these types of products can be a nightmare to clean. Yes there are a few components to this machine but each one is cleaned easily enough.

Priced at £200.99 I think this product could be a good addition to your kitchen, it has the quality I have come to expect from Panasonic and the ease of use along with the modern, sleek look.

 

  • All products are sent from Panasonic for me to test and I am compensated for my time.

The Food On My Plate – May 2017

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It has been a fairly food filled month for me so far and quite often I don’t get a chance to tell you all about everything I’ve eaten. And I know you need to know..don’t you? Well not everything of course, it is not entirely necessary for you to see the Nutella sandwich I ate for breakfast last Friday or the rather bland looking bowl of pasta I ate plain last week save for oodles of butter and pepper just because pasta is my favourite comfort food. I do however want to share with you some of the lovelier and occasionally more adventurous dishes I’ve been enjoying.

It may surprise you as I am a bit of a foodie, to learn that I have never really enjoyed seafood. Growing up, both of my parents had allergies or intolerances to shellfish and I guess it just wasn’t something that we ate or saw regularly during childhood. We ate tinned tuna and of course Cod ( fish fingers ) but prawns, mussels and even cockles which are a bit of a speciality in the area I live were all a bit unknown. I don’t think I was ever really a fussy eater but I guess I would call myself a late developer to certain foods, blue cheese and olives for example are both things I despised even as little as five years ago but now I love them. Coffee ( not a food I know ) is another ingredient I have only managed to introduce less than a year ago but seafood has been my biggest challenge. I often get invited to meals or events where there are tasting or set menus and there is nearly always a seafood element, I have always said that I will try any food that is served to me because one it is polite and two well you never know otherwise. So seafood has been an almost part of my life for the last three years or so but only in the form of me quickly trying it with an already set idea in my head that I would hate it..pretty childish right? There have been a few exceptions, deep fried cockles at Fairyhill, Gower and rather amazing scallops from Adam Whittle at The Newbridge On Usk but for the most part I just didn’t like it.

A recent press trip to Spain was a bit of a revelation. Fish or shellfish featured in every single meal over the 4 day trip, including in the giant paella shown below and I enjoyed it all. In fact the mussels were my foodie highlight of the trip or maybe the crispy prawns with a thai green curry foam..hmm decisions.

Aside from seafood I have indulged my sweet tooth, firstly with these amazing gluten free coconut waffles made by Lovely Appetite at a recent family dinner

Next up were these quite frankly outstanding cinnamon buns from The Nordic Bakery. They are fairly enormous and a real pleasure to eat and they serve delicious  coffee too.

At home I have been practising my usual mix of healthy and indulgent dishes. If I allow myself to eat what I like for the most part and balance it out with good, healthy dishes as well as a decent workout routine that I maintain my weight and a shape I am happy with ( well I’m guessing that as I don’t weigh anymore ). Cous cous is always a big part of my summer meal plans and well I am perfecting a fondant potato recipe for the Actifry and it is just so good!

Bread, olives, aioli and sangria. Anything better on a hot day? This was the best sangria I have ever had from a restaurant in Benidorm, it was filled with all kinds of fruit including Strawberries so was almost like Pimms.

At a press event a few days ago with BenQ to launch the GS1 projector I sampled the culinary delights of Cranble. Cranble is a new food website brought to you by the Media Team and fronted by Masterchef Professionals finalist Matt Healy. They were cooking for us on a Big Green Egg ( which I need in my life ) as well as a pizza oven and well we were certainly well fed. They do serve a good Pimms Summer Cup too!  A little sample of what we ate below..

And finally yesterday was my birthday so I just ate a LOT. I started it off with this rather amazing pork and apple sausage roll from my favourite local cafe Framptons.

So there you have just a snippet of my month in food. I hope to have some new recipes live for you later this month, hopefully one or two videos too! I am planning a well earned five days holiday next week so I may be a little quieter than normal.

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A Brief Taste Of Benidorm

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I’ve just returned from a rather incredible trip to Benidorm. Yes Benidorm. I never imagined taking a trip there and like a lot of you I had a lot of preconceived ideas of how it would be. I was wrong. You can read all about my trip over the next few weeks but I took an incredible amount of photos and right now I just want to share a few of those with you, a little taster if you like. Keep your eyes peeled for my full review:

 

From my review posts you can expect tips on where to eat and what to do in Benidorm as well as showing you the gorgeous resort I stayed at. If my photos have already whet your appetite then go check out Jet 2 Holidays and Visit Benidorm to get planning your own trip.

  • I was invited on a press trip and as such my hotel, flights and food and drink costs were covered.

 

Air New Zealand – A Better Way To Fly

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For someone who really adores travel I haven’t been to many far flung places. Growing up with parents who didn’t have the money for exotic trips and also a Dad who absolutely refused ( and still does ) to fly meant that all of my childhood holidays were UK based, I don’t regret this as I had amazing memories of those caravan trips. This did mean however that my first flight was at the age of 21 and was actually to Mexico  – yes my first flight was a 9 hour one. I have never been one to start things the normal way. I remember feeling so nervous but also enjoying the whole experience, from check in to take off and the pleasures of a long haul flight.  Since then I have visited Mexico once more but other than that my furthest destination has been The Gambia. For lots of reasons. the main one being that I became a parent, I have only travelled to countries within a few hours of the UK since that time. I am hoping that in the coming years that changes.

Last month I had an intriguing invite to attend an exclusive lunch hosted by Air New Zealand and Chef Peter Gordon in Soho. I knew that the food would be incredible and I was interested to find out more so of course I said yes.

Now perhaps like me you were fooled into thinking that Air New Zealand only flew to New Zealand? Well you would be wrong, here are just a few of the destinations you can get to with Air NZ:

Pacific Islands

USA

Canada

Europe 

Asia

Australia

Add to that they have a huge list of destinations you can fly onto with one of their partner networks.

I’ve never flown with a high quality long haul airline before so checking out the level of luxury on board an Air NZ flight was an interesting experience. I sat in the seats, checked out the onboard entertainment and even had a sneaky lie down. It was pretty much as comfy as any regular hotel bed..I was pretty tired but managed to drag myself out of the seats and down into the dining area where we were served the most incredible food by Chef Peter Gordon and team.

 

Peter Gordon has worked with Air New Zealand for 20 years now and it is a relationship which clearly works well. The food that you can expect on board an Air NZ flight is of the exquisite quality I imagine you would get at one of Peter’s restaurants. Care and consideration has gone into the menu which currently includes dishes such as:

Sumac Dusted Smoked Salmon ( which was so good I ordered Sumac on my return journey to try to recreate at home ):

Other foodie delights included Lamb with minted peas, braised lettuce and crushed new potatoes with THE most amazing mint jelly, Cod with slow cooked fennel and spinach confit and vegetarian paneer. Desserts were certainly not overlooked with Warm Treacle Tarts with clotted cream or an English Cheeseboard selection. Aside from main meals the refreshment menu includes amongst other treats, the famous Crosstown Doughnuts – if you are yet to try these there are several shops in London and you MUST go visit. The Apricot and lavender honey compote with lavender icing was just dreamy.

New Zealand is famous for its quality wines and wine pairing is something which Air NZ gave a lot of though to with a number of wine sections available on board.

I have to say I left the event feeling seriously satisfied with a full belly and impressed and desperately wanting to try a better way to fly.

For more information on the Air New Zealand pop up in Soho click here and to start planning a trip click here.

* I was invited to this event and compensated for my time.

Tefal Actifry – The Slimmer’s Secret

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Last month I attended an event hosted by Tefal and Frankie Essex ( of TOWIE fame ). The event was to unveil the new Actifry Smart XL and their Slimmer’s Secret campaign.

Now you will probably know that I am a fan of the Actifry, I have a number of recipes on the blog already that you can check out here. I am also working on some new ones coming up for you very shortly. Including these pretty special Fondant Potatoes:

Why do I love the Actifry so much?

I was sent an Actifry to try out about 3 years ago for a review on the blog, I get sent lots of gadgets and some I use a lot and others not so much. This is probably the product I use more than any other I have been given. When my oven broke down last year I used the Actifry for everything, from meat to potatoes to veggies and even frittata. It can be used for pretty much anything that an oven can be used for. It was also a great help when I was trying to lose weight last year as it meant I could cook all of my favourite foods such as fried chicken and super crispy chips with a fraction of the fat and calories. I hit my goal weigh some time ago but I continue to use the Actifry as it is so convenient and waist friendly. I received the new Smart XL version last week ( my mum is the lucky recipient of my older version ). What is the difference you may ask? Well..this is a bit cool. The new Smart XL has bluetooth connectivity. This means:

*Automatic transfer of cooking parameters from your application to your ActiFry
*Step by step cooking instructions.
*Live monitoring of the cooking process on the app.
*Control of the cooking process from a distance.

I am planning to try out this feature on the weekend so I will keep you posted on that!

The event itself was really good fun, we were split into pairs to create dishes for us all to enjoy at lunch. I was with the lovely Julie from Julie’s Family Kitchen and we were set the task of making a Chicken Tikka Masala which was something I hadn’t considered making in the Actifry. It worked so well and in just 25 minutes which is pretty amazing. We had an incredibly sumptuous lunch with various dishes made in the Actifry such as chips, chicken, salmon and frittata alongside some wonderful salads.

Do you have an Actifry? What do you like to cook in it?

  • I was invited to this event and compensated for my time, I have received a product for review.

The Instagram & Instagrammers I Love – May 2017

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Another month gone by in the blink of an eye. I have been so busy this last month that I have not focused on Instagram as heavily as normal but I am still seeing steady growth..in fact I hit the 5k mark! WOOP. At this time I have about 5095 followers which although small compared to many still seems pretty huge and is actually double what it was this time last year. It still seems a little crazy that 5000 people want to follow me and see what I do!? I know I said I wasn’t worrying so much about hitting that milestone but it still feels really good to do so. I have followed more people recently as well, I met lots of new bloggers and influencers via conferences and press trips this past month and it is nice to follow their feeds and enjoy fresh content.

I have so much Instagram content ready at the moment as I have just returned from a stay in the most Instagrammable hotel. All coloured walls and pretty swimming pools and I ate and shot the best food. It is worth noting as well that nearly all of my recent Instagram photos are taken on a phone. I have a really great new phone ( well I have had it since December ) and I really don’t feel the need for my DSLR so much anymore.

My top three posts of the past four weeks are all food related for once!

Starting with these Fondant Potatoes which seemed to get you all a little excited.

Next up was this gorgeous Sunday lunch dessert we had at a family lunch:

And finally the Nutella Cookies I made in tribute to a fellow blogger who passed away recently:

At the end of last month I attended the Traverse conference and I met lots of people including one of the speakers, Kash from Budget Traveller. I missed his talk as I had already joined another session but I heard lots of good things from it via fellow bloggers. On discovering his Instagram account I very quickly fell in love with it or lust..wanderlust to be precise. His stories are fascinating, filled with food and travel and his feed is beautiful. Go check it out. He has a superb blog too full of tips and stories from his trips around the world. You will be green with envy but he is very likeable so you won’t be able to hate him too much.

Hannah from Hannah and Fitness is a fellow food blogger that I met at an event hosted by Tefal, she mainly writes about food and fitness and has a really inspiring feed. She creates dishes which look incredible and are good for you but she never tells you to cut out entire food groups and still enjoys ice cream and pizza herself. I have serious AB envy when I look at her feed but I don’t find myself comparing and feeling I fall short as I have done with other fitness IGers I have followed before. She shows her workout routines regularly and I’ve picked up lots of tips. Plus she is really lovely in real life too.. bonus. I love this shot of these sweet potato nachos.

Kellie from Food_To_Glow is a food blogger I have known ( online ) and followed for some time now. She creates the most wonderfully beautiful and healthy food. Her feed is a joy to scroll through and I also recommend taking some time to check out her blog too. I love this shot she recently posted of the latest food trend, cloud eggs:

Mel from Le Coin De Mel is a French food and family blogger based in London. Her feed is fun and full of happiness and FOOD. She also has a child with allergies so I enjoy looking at her recipes. I listened to her speak at a blog conference some time ago and loved her passion for food and making free from food taste good and her accent is pretty awesome too. I love the shot of her no knead bread which instantly made me crave warm bread and butter.

A post shared by Mel (@lecoindemel) on

My final recommendation is Pip from Pip Says. I’ve followed Pip for ages now but we finally met at the recent Traverse conference. Her feed is a mix of food, travel and lifestyle – a bit like mine really. She travels a whole lot more than I do and I love seeing her pics pop up in my feed. I love this shot of the sunrise in Cardiff.

Who are you loving on Instagram right now?

Going Solo – Saying No To The Guilt Trip

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If you had asked me two years ago if I would have considered going on a trip alone for more than one night, the answer probably would have been hell no.

Why?

  1. I was under the impression that my children could not cope without me.
  2. I am a parent therefore my life and solo enjoyment no longer counted. In my head anyway.
  3. What would people think?

Most of us know that number 3 is the biggest one to overcome. I have to admit though that even prior to having children I didn’t really consider solo travel as an option and blogging was a whole unknown world to me back then so the idea of a press trip would have seemed absurd. I think the furthest I had ever travelled alone up until the age of maybe 29 was Cardiff..and that is just an hour away from my home. It just didn’t seem right. I travelled with friends, boyfriends ( only one at any time I should point out ) and family of course but going somewhere alone.. why would I do that?

Yet I have just returned from a 3 day solo trip in London. It was my first overnight trip this year and was a combination of work and leisure, because yes it was a conference I attended to educate myself and make new connections but it was also a lot of fun. Last year I took 3 overseas solo trips in total, 1 to Germany and 2 to Denmark as well as some overnight trips to London. The longest solo trip I have taken was for 3 days.

So what has changed in these last few years?

Why is my answer now yes? Well the girls are a little older now which obviously has some impact but the real answer is a lot has changed for me. I have changed and things in my life have changed, some of those changes I don’t discuss on here because they are personal but for the most part these changes are positive.  I came to the realisation that yes my children can and often will have to cope without me, don’t get me wrong I know they miss me but they are with me for so much of the time that I’m sure I get a little boring. I work 10 days a month in my office job and the rest of the time I am here for school pick up and drop offs, for playing in the park and baking biscuits, for cuddles, for tears and putting plasters on cuts, for bath time and endless stories. The extra blog work I do allows me to not have to work more hours away from home and I know we have more than enough time together.  I educate, I discipline and I show them just how much I love them, I give them a massive amount of me because that is what we as parents must do. They love me and they tell me so, they demonstrate it and they also get annoyed and frustrated with me occasionally as I do with them. It is normal. Life isn’t always rosy, holding hands and laughter all day long but the girls are so happy and loved and they know it. It shines from them.

When I am away they love spending time with either set of grandparents or having more time just with their Dad and it is perfectly fine with them, better than fine it is fun. And when I return even if it’s just from a day trip  they smother me with their love and they are happy to see me and I am overjoyed to see them. They cope a lot better than I do without them, because I still miss them like crazy but they seem to only miss me on my return which is as I would want it to be, plus of course they get souvenirs from my trips which they love. The second point I made above about being a parent therefore my enjoyment no longer counting was something I believed for a long time. That my life as just a woman no longer really existed anymore because I was a mother. And that is stupid. It is really stupid. My life as a woman is even more important now that I have children, I want and need time to be me. You can read more about that in this post here. I know that when I balance time for just me with time being just mum it works and I am happier, which in turn works better for the girls. Of course my overriding role as a parent is constant, as it should be but they see me achieving goals, being happy and independent and I hope it drives them to be the same.  I want them to be happy and independent and strong and that is what they are becoming and so am I.

I have always loved to travel and right now my work occasionally allows for that. I’m not going to call myself lucky for being invited on these trips because it is not luck, it is hard work and a lot of it. Yet I am grateful for the opportunities that my work results in. Grateful but it isn’t luck. This week I am going on a trip to Spain  which will be the longest time I’ve spent away, four days and three nights. I no longer feel guilty about this, I know why I’m going, I know that it will be an interesting experience and I wouldn’t go if I didn’t believe that, yet it is not a relaxing 4 days on a beach. The itinerary is packed from morning to night as they always are on press trips and I will be there with people I have never met before. That can work out marvellously and you can make wonderful friends and I have yet I know that it could also be that I’ll have not a jot in common with any of them, but at the end of the day it is work not a jaunt with my friends. I am going on this trip and hopefully more to come because I believe it will result in future work opportunities and I am working every day to make sure I succeed at what I want to do. I know that the days leading up to it I will be a little anxious, in case one of them is unwell while I’m away or just because I know I will miss them, that feeling won’t ever leave I don’t think. Perhaps not even when they are adults, I know my parents still worry lots about us, it just becomes ingrained I think. They cope just fine without me and they have a great Dad who can do everything I can for them.

At the moment I work on my blog or on freelance work pretty much every day, yet during the week if I am at home I only work for the 2.15 hours in which both girls at school ( Chloe isn’t yet full time ) then I start work again once they have settled to sleep. On the weekends and my days in the office I don’t start working on the blog until the night. The rest of the time I am working on my other hugely important job, being a mother. It is exhausting yet fulfilling and wearing yet energising which is why I refuse to feel guilty about any of it, this work that I am doing to ensure a better future will benefit us all which is why point 3 is equally silly.

Who cares what people think? Well all of us to some degree but to let what people think hamper your life and affect decisions is ridiculous. If anyone judges me for taking a trip which is furthering me in terms of my career or just making me happier or more fulfilled then it is down to them but I am not about to allow that to stop me doing things I want to do. I think most of the people in my life are supportive and understanding of what I do, but it is still an unknown world for a lot of my family and friends – the digital and blogging world. Yet they are learning and understanding it more, that this is what I want to do with my life and it requires a lot of work. There will always be some people who will make snide comments or try to make you feel bad about decisions you make but really the best way to look at it is that they just don’t understand and that is down to them.

 

I asked some of my Facebook followers what they thought about parents taking solo holidays or work trips, here are some snippets of what they had to say:

I agree with Penny above who blogs at ParentShaped when she say she misses having someone to talk about the trip with and yes for me that is the part which I find hard if I am excited about something I have done but nobody else was there. I worry it’s annoying for my friends and family to hear me go on about a place they haven’t visited, I know I raved enough about my trips to Denmark last year to everyone. But seriously.. you won’t get a cinnamon bun like you get in Denmark anywhere else. That alone is reason to visit. I also like the comment about remembering herself as a solo entity. It is very true.

Don’t get me wrong, I still want to travel with family and friends as that is a truly special experience but I know I can do it alone now, if I want to and if I need to.

These days it is becoming more and more common for people to take solo trips, women especially and I think it is a really good thing. Even if you don’t have children but you are in a serious relationship and feel like you can only travel together, why is that? Maybe you want to go somewhere your partner doesn’t and time apart is healthy for everyone. Perhaps the idea of solo travel scares you and obviously if you do go then take all of the necessary precautions, research the area you are staying and be careful and don’t wander about alone. Most of my trips come with a guide and a firm plan of what will happen but without those types of trips I would still be happy these days to travel just by myself to a place I’d not been as long as I planned it out and knew what to expect. Fifty years ago this just would not have been the acceptable thing to do. What a time to be alive, embrace it.

Just in case you are tempted, here are some pros to solo travel:

You get the window seat – nobody pushing you out of the way or making you feel guilty because you had it on the journey out but also want it on the way home.

If you are a parent and travel alone, you don’t have to take Calpol or wet wipes. Unless you want to of course.

You can visit the places you want to visit. You don’t have to worry about anyone being bored or getting tired.

You get all the suitcase space.

You feel super brave. Ha. I felt so proud of myself after my first flight alone. Seriously it gives you a confidence boost.

You get to sleep in a big squishy hotel bed, alone – you can starfish across the bed to your hearts content.

And cons of course:

You will miss your loved ones

You have nobody to blame if you get the times wrong or if you take a wrong turn or ahem.. miss your flight.

You will annoy all of your friends and family with your post trip ramblings.

Do you ever take trips alone? How do you feel about it?

Lemon Chilli Cous Cous

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I love this time of year. Mainly for the lighter evenings, I like that I can get home from a day at work and still spend time in the garden. I love eating al fresco and taking impromptu walks later in the night. I also love Summer food.

I make a real effort to make my salads or bowls of grains a little more special in the Summer and it is really easy to do so. Invest in some really good quality flavoured oils, keep your salad drawer well stocked, plant a few easy to maintain herb pots on your kitchen window sill and just play about with flavours. You can’t really go wrong. One of my favourite ingredients to use in the Summer months is cous cous. It is so versatile and wins all of the bonus points for having such a long shelf life and taking as little as 5 minutes to be ready to eat.

This is a really light and summery dish but it packs a punch when it comes to flavour and has a nice kick from the chilli oil and a freshness from the lemon.

lemon chilli cous cous

Lemon Chilli Cous Cous

You will need:

250g cous cous ( prepared to packet instructions and left to cool )

1/2 lemon ( zest and juice )

50ml chilli oil

1 large tomato, diced

2 spring onions roughly chopped

2 cloves of garlic, diced

1/2 ball of mozzarella cubed

sea salt and black pepper

Add all of your ingredients to your cooked and cooled cous cous, mix thoroughly to ensure an even distribution of the oil and seasoning. Finish with a light drizzle of oil. Eat immediately or cover and refrigerate for up to 48 hours.

This would be perfect served alongside grilled chicken or fish at a BBQ or a standalone dish for lunch or a lighter supper.

What are your go to summery dishes?