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Turning 40

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I turn 40 in less than two months. 40. That age that when I was a child seemed like old age yet now feels like I blinked after turning 25 and here I am. I’m not worried about turning 40, it doesn’t feel like a huge change yet it is. 40 is very different to being IN your 30’s. It feels like a different statement is made when you say I’m 40 as to when you say you are late 30’s especially as a woman.

Women of my generation are lucky in that in most cases women are now getting celebrated at all ages. We see stories every day of women who started careers at 40 or 50, female actors winning awards and sometimes even not choosing to start families until they are my age. 40 is not over the hill by any means but it just feels different.

I think for me the biggest issue I have with it is that I don’t feel healthy or well and the older I get the more that seems like it may be something I can’t change. I am doing everything I can to better myself and get well but a lot of it is out of my control. I imagined having big parties and weeks of celebrations for my 40th but I can’t think of many things right now which wouldn’t cost me too much physically to do. I know my family, my friends and my partner will want to make it a big deal for me and I appreciate that in so many ways yet the thought of it alone is tiring.

In lockdown I had a few things I knew I wanted to achieve before my 40th, then I caught covid in October 2020 and quite honestly nothing has been the same since. I wasn’t hospitalised, thankfully I didn’t die ( obviously) but my life has been significantly impacted by a virus which honestly when I caught it I thought oh great I can get this out of the way now and thank goodness I am at the best fitness I’ve been in for a long time so I can beat it. Um no covid doesn’t work like that and long covid sufferers are more than likely to be women of my age who were previously fit. I’ve had to adapt my life and there are some goals which I’ve had to put on the back burner maybe forever.

I am determined that this next year will see an improvement in some way in my health. I am determined to make my life better for my girls and my partner and my family. It will not be easy but I will do it. Not sure how exactly but I will. For now I am going to look to my 40th and find a way to share that time and celebrate it with the ones I love.

I bet you missed my rambles? More to come I’m sure…

And She’s Back In The Game…

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Well it’s been a while hey?

Since having covid, followed by long covid my mind has been such a fuzzy mess that putting coherent thoughts down on the blog has been pretty impossible. But..finally I feel like I am at a point where life is slowly returning to normal. I still have rough days, some more so than others but I am getting there I think. It has been ten months since I got my positive test result and I am nowhere near full health or fitness but I will get there. I know in many ways I got off lightly, many people who have long covid can barely get out of bed, then there are the thousands of people that were lost to covid and its frightening to know that it can happen to people of my age who have previously been fit and healthy.

Life in general is slowly getting back to normal for all of us. I doubt that any of us will really get over what happened to the world this last 18 months but it has taught me and I am guessing so many of you such valuable lessons. It has taught me to want to make the most of my life, because it is just the one we get. It has made me more empathetic, yet also stronger. I am no longer the soft and often naive person I once was. I am firmer with people, I say no more often and I will not allow people to walk all over me. I have learned a lot about what I want in my life and more importantly who I want in my life, it showed me who are real friends and who were simply lurkers in my life.

I am determined more than ever to do more of what I want and what makes me happy at the same time as creating the best possible home and life for my children. And I believe I can do it. Life won’t be easy, it rarely is but if you make your days as happy and positive as you can then it changes your mindset and you find the harder days are a little easier to handle. I started forcing positive vibes into my day back at the earlier part of this year, I know that sounds pretty cheesy but I did. At first it was far from natural, we all know how easy it is to mope and let yourself wallow but the more I did it the easier and more natural it became and I realised I was starting to catch myself on those low days and I had found ways to manage it now.

Here are a few things I do to start my day positively:

Blast some feel good music, me and the girls love a kitchen disco in the mornings and we often play music on the walk to school and have a bit of a sing. Don’t underestimate the power of music and how it can transform your mood.

Eat a little better, now I don’t mean go on a diet and I definitely don’t mean cutting out favourite foods. Just think more about what you are eating, maybe on the weekend you know you will be going out for a sumptuous BBQ feast or all the snacks at the cinema so perhaps for a couple of days during the week you eat a little less red meat or sugar. What we put in our bodies affects how we feel. None of it for me is about losing weight, purely about helping my mind.

Get fresh air every day. Before I became unwell I was walking between 15-20k steps a day as well as attending a gym. I was the fittest I’d been in years and then suddenly I was struggling to breather and for about 4 months the furthest I walked was to the end of my street. By late Spring I was managing the school run and actually started to enjoy it again and I will never take being able to go for a long walk for granted again. I am still not back to being as fit as I’d like but I don’t put pressure on myself and as long as I’ve done something that day, even if it’s a ten minute walk then I feel better for it. I don’t need a perfectly toned body but I know how important exercise is for me personally and is a big factor in me having good mental health.

Avoid too much time with mood hoovers. I imagine not everyone knows what I mean by this but in your life you will definitely have mood hoovers or drains. People who only ever see the bad side of life and sometimes even seem to enjoy wallowing or being negative. You cannot avoid them altogether, perhaps they are members of your family or lifelong friends who need your support. But if your mental health is fragile and let’s be honest after the last two years it is for a lot of us then you do sometimes need to put yourself first and that is not selfish. Read that again. Putting yourself first is not selfish. Sometimes it is absolutely necessary. Remember the stronger and happier you are then the more likely you’ll be able to positively impact those around you. Be the change. I know it is very cheesy and almost Tony Robbins esque but it is true.

Find something that truly makes you happy and do it often. For me this is cooking and creating. Maybe for you it will be a certain game, going to a special place or even your work.

Find five positives in every day. You may think this is an impossible thing to do especially when you are going through a rough patch but don’t think these five positives have to be monumental things. Here are a couple of examples of positives I have found in the last few months:

Really good coffee

A walk by the river

The bubble of laughter from my girls when I do something daft

Being able to walk and see my parents

My favourite songs

Mastering a new recipe

Reading a quote that resonates

Fresh bedding

The fairy lights in my garden

The comforting feeling of a tight hug from someone who loves you

A beautiful butterfly landing on my lavender

None of these things are huge things, to some they will seem almost mundane. But keep counting those little things and just breathe it in. List them in a book, on your bad days look back at them and see how many of them were in that day without you even noticing. Life is brief and we ignore so much of it. Soak it up. Love, live and laugh a lot.

I have a few new recipes planned for this month so keep your eyes peeled and I really hope you are all doing well. feel free to comment with any recipes you’d like me to post or any ideas you have for me. Take care.

Filed Under: Life ·

Kicking Negative Habits for a Healthier 2023

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CC0 Licensed Image Courtesy of Pexels

It’s hard to find someone who doesn’t have a bad habit they want to stop. But kicking negative habits can be very hard. Especially if you have done it for a long time. These can range from mild issues, such as eating the wrong foods, to severe problems, like addictive behaviours.

Rewire Your Mind

It is all but proven that the way you think has a huge impact on how you live your life. This means that while you are thinking of your bad habits, you will ultimately keep doing them. Holistic therapies such as meditation, yoga, and even online hypnotherapy from experts like Fix My Mind are great places to start.With these, you can rewire your brain to ensure you minimise how much you think about inappropriate or even criminal acts that form your habits. 

Kicking Negative Habits Means Knowing Yourself

Many studies have been done and are indeed ongoing. And they all conclude that a huge 95% of human behaviour is habitual. That means only 5% of our decisions on a daily basis we make with our own knowledge. Carl Jung once said, “until you make the unconscious mind conscious, it will guide your life, and you will call it fate”. Hypnotherapy can be a great way to begin understanding yourself. But you need to understand your goals, personality and strengths.

Swap a Bad Habit for a New One

Many researchers in the field of human behaviour will tell you that you don’t really break a bad habit. You replace it with a healthier one. Whether good or bad, your habits are with you for a reason. And some are actually beneficial. But a bad habit can have a huge negative impact on your life. For example, taking drugs to cope. Or staying in a toxic relationship to stop feeling lonely. But you can maybe meditate or go for a run instead of reaching for those things.

Seek Support from Friends and Family

Bad habits can have a severe impact on your physical, emotional and mental health. And it can be hard to get rid of them. Many ex-smokers or addicts will tell you that a support system is vital. Surround yourself with family and friends. Not people who also take have those habits. That can be one of the hardest things to do. But in almost all cases, you will be in contact with people who are bad for you.

Remind, Routine and Reward

It can be a long and winding road to break the bad habit of constantly checking emails when you need to work to overcome substance abuse. But none of them is impossible to stop. To help you get started, you need to understand the “three Rs” that make something a habit:

  • Reminder: a reminder is generally a trigger that causes you to reach for your bad habit. For example, a doing you always play when you are drinking. Or even a specific feeling you get, such as nervousness. Once identified, you can begin working on these.
  • Routine: similar to reminders, routines are things that you usually do when performing your bad habit. This is the actual behaviour associated with the trigger symptoms. Generally, this is something you do, such as shaking your hands when scared.
  • Reward: this refers to what you get out of making your habit that makes you feel better. For example, eating chocolate to overcome PTSD releases dopamine and serotonin. This essentially makes you feel like you are rewarded for engaging in the bad habit.

Knowing where your bad habits start, how they carry out and what you get out of them is a good first step to stopping them. You can actively work to prevent them because you can learn to recognise them before, during and after your habitual behaviour. Then you can replace them.

Know Your Triggers

As mentioned above, the “three Rs” are a great way to begin your journey to stop your bad habits. But further to the “reminder” phase, you really need to understand your triggers. This is vital because it’s where the habit begins. It can help to take note of where you are, the time and the feelings associated with your bad habit. Also, think about other people. Certain people such as toxic partners, can be triggers whose habits influence yours.

Buddy Up with Someone Else

Like anything that is hard to do, support is vital. You may have friends that are triggers, and their behaviour can influence yours. So it helps to work with friends or family with the same goals. Perhaps your best friend also wants to lose weight and kick unhealthy eating. This is great because you are both aligned, and you can work on a plan together. And the same system can work for almost anything. This is why the AA sponsor system works. You both know your goals.

Expect Relapses when Kicking Negative Habits

Addiction can be thought of as a habit. And it can be a very long road. It’s not easy to kick something you have done for a long time. Because of this, between 40% and 60% of people trying to stop something, like drugs, alcohol, or smoking, will relapse. But this isn’t necessarily a bad thing and is considered a natural part of recovery. So don’t feel too bad if this happens. In most cases, a relapse only serves to remind you just how bad your habit is in the first place. 

Practise the Law of Attraction

You may have heard of “the law of attraction”. No, not magnets! Basically, this is the belief that good things happen when you think only of good things. That is, the way you think affects the outcome of your life. Whether you believe this or not, there is some evidence that a positive mental attitude is a great way to enhance your life. Begin by thinking about the positive changes kicking your habit will help, how you will feel and how you can help others do the same.

Summary

Kicking negative habits can be easy or extremely hard, depending on certain things. These can affect your personal circumstances, your will to do it and your attitude. However, thinking differently about it, knowing the “three Rs”, and even practising the law of attraction can help.

Filed Under: Life ·

The Constant Home Improvement Plan

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One of the worst things about owning your own home is that there is a never ending list of jobs and improvements which just seems to grow and grow. At present there are at least ten things which need to be done and fairly soon. Then there is also the dream list, the when you have a bit more spare money and time list. AKA the list which may never be ticked off but you love to sit and think about it all the same.

At the moment just off the top of my head I need carpets to be replaced, walls to be hacked off and replastered as well as general decorating work. Quite possibly a new washing machine any day and do not even get me started on the garden. But the dream is to have a bigger kitchen. You all know how much I love to cook and it may surprise you to know I have a fairly teeny galley style kitchen. It does the job but I have a million different kitchen ideas from completely ripping out the units and opening up the kitchen into my old battered conservatory and having a huge kitchen island and prep area. A walk in pantry would be a plus too and one of those walls with all the cool pans and utensils hung all over it. One area would be filled with herbs and greenery and maybe even a big comfy chair for me to relax and read my cookery books. A girl can dream hey.

I’d love a huge window or french doors looking into my (obviously revamped ) garden, loads of natural sunlight streaming in and a nice decked area outside with….an outdoor cooking space. I mean we don’t really get the weather for it but you know the kind of outdoor cooking spaces you see in American homes.

Photo by Jubéo Hernandez on Unsplash

I mean all I really need to get this done is a big money win. Until then I’ll get some paint on a few walls around the house, freshen up a few areas and save my pennies for the next big thing that goes wrong.

What kind of things do you do when you want to make little changes and freshen up your home without spending a fortune?

For me it’s a lick of paint, maybe hire a carpet cleaner and some new soft furnishings and a major declutter. On that note see you in about 6 months….

Filed Under: Life ·

Air Fryer Loaded Potatoes

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Like most of the UK I’ve been using my air fryer a lot more lately, it is far more cost effective than turning the oven on if you are only cooking one or two items and you don’t have to worry about preheating either. Plus it’s super speedy. The air fryer I use is fairly old now, I was gifted it about 6 or 7 years ago and is a Tefal Actifry XL. It’s still does the job although a small part of me does crave the new fancy dancy ones a bit. But until this one breaks all my air fryer recipes will be based on that model. The actifry has a paddle which does make it one of the best for making things like chips as it moves them about and gets that overall crispy texture, however for recipes such as today’s I remove the paddle so I don’t get a big pile of squished up mash.

I’ve made loaded potatoes in many variations for years. It used to be something you’d always see on pub menus although not so much these days, not sure why to be honest.

You can add any ingredient to this really, bits of leftover veg or meat, the ends of cheeses from a cheese board but I kept it simple for this air fryer test with grated cheese, chopped ham and spring onion. You don’t really need to measure amounts for this as it will depend on the size of your potatoes as to how much you will need to add of each ingredient. Also add seasoning such as sea salt, black pepper, maybe a dash of herbs and a big lump of butter.

Air Fryer Loaded Potatoes

You will need:

Baked potatoes ( I tend to cook a batch at a time and use the leftovers for loaded potatoes)

Grated cheese – mature cheddar is what I used but anything will work.

Chopped veg

Chopped meat

Butter

Seasoning

Start by cutting your cooked potatoes in half lengthways and scooping out the flesh. Put into a large bowl with some butter and seasoning and mash well, stir through your veg and meat and half your cheese.

Put the mixture back into the potato skins and top with the remaining cheese then pop in your air fryer.

For my actifry there is only one temp setting so I just set it for 15 mins and moved them around slightly after 10. Follow your air fryer instructions but it will probably take around 15 mins. They are ready when crispy on the outside and golden brown on top.

How To Tackle Your Kids Wardrobe

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Having the time to clean the house might be difficult in general, but keeping up with the closet organization of growing children is a special challenge.

The main element to easy kids closet organising is to make the most of the space you’ve got. As children’s clothing tends to be on the little side, it’s crucial to make use of every inch of available space by utilizing separators, hanging racks, and boxes.

Photo by Ben Wicks on Unsplash

If your children’s clothing is neatly stored, getting them dressed in the morning won’t be a hassle. If your children get dressed themselves then having lower bars and storage could be helpful. 

Before taking on the challenge of organizing your children’s closets, you should perform some decluttering and get rid of any old, unused items. Whilst the act of decluttering in and of itself may seem daunting, it actually only entails the following straightforward steps:

Empty The Wardrobe Completely 

As it’s simpler to begin with a blank slate, you should first empty the closet. This will facilitate the subsequent process of sorting. The contents of the laundry basket should not be forgotten either. Having nothing in your closet might help you visualise the available storage space, allowing you to better organise your belongings.

Create Categories 

The following piles should be created:

Can Wear Now 

Clothes that are suitable for the current season and your size can be found in this pile. Transforming your kid’s closet seasonally is a terrific method to maintain order and purge outgrown garments. When spring arrives, it’s time to ditch the bulky sweaters and coats in favor of lighter fabrics suitable for the warmer weather. Have a look for some sneakers for boys for the summer months and bring out the boots in the winter. If you plan in advance you can prebuy and store for the new seasons and shop in the sales. 

Store 

Things that are too big or can be passed down, and seasonal pieces, can be packed away in vacuum pack bags or boxes – with comparable items placed together and all well labelled.

Donation Pieces 

Clothes that your child no longer wears or has outgrown, or that you simply don’t care for, but are still in good condition, can be donated to this pile. You can either give them away, donate them to a baby bank, or even sell them. A seller might choose from a wide variety of selling choices.

Toss 

Things you no longer want that are too old or beyond repair can be recycled.

Empty All The Drawers

The first step in any sort of organisation project is to empty the area and assess the available storage space and the items that need to be stored. You can do this along with your cupboard organisation, sorting into piles as before.

Add Liners 

Such measures prevent dust buildup and the shifting of items within the drawers. Clean-smelling drawers and garments are a bonus of using scented drawer liners. Perfect for updating your older pieces.

Insert Some Draw Dividers 

With drawer dividers, their miniature wardrobe may be kept neat and tidy. You can put items together by type and or color – based on how many items you have. You can use empty shoe boxes or invest in some specialized drawer dividers for this purpose.

Maintain order by placing clothing items in their boxes within drawers. Group similar objects together, such as tops, and store them independently from bottoms. This makes it simple to find what you need and to tidy up afterward.

Storing The Footwear 

Not only do kids need somewhere to store their wardrobes, but they also likely have a plethora of shoes if they’re anything like us. Kids’ shoes, from the wellies to the trainers, should be neatly stored, not left strewn about the hallway or buried at the back of a closet. This makes our lives easier as well because they are better able to discover and put on their shoes independently.

This situation calls for a minimum of complexity. Encourage your kids to help out around the house by making it simple for them to put their shoes away after use. Each child should have their own basket or crate to store their shoes in so that they can easily find their own pair in the morning and return them to their proper location at the end of the day.

These tips should help you to get on top of your kids wardrobes in no time. Do you have any other tips that may help? Please share some in the comments.

Ways To Manage Chronic Pain

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Not a post I ever thought I’d have to write but having suffered with chronic pain for the last two years I thought some of the little tips I have picked up may be of use to someone.

Long COVID (link will lead you to my latest update ) is very real and for many sufferers chronic pain has become the norm. For me my pain is mostly in my legs, it does spread to other parts such as my back and arms some days but every day I have significant pain in my legs and feet. I am on a very long waiting list to be seen by the pain management clinic and also the neurology department as most of my symptoms point towards nerve damage. I am unfortunately unable to take anti inflammatory medication and a lot of the common pain relieving tablets and nerve pain tablets. This is in itself incredibly frustrating as the only actual medication I currently take is paracetamol which as you can imagine barely touches the pain I am in. Because of this I have had to find other ways to help manage my pain, none of the things I do take the pain away but it helps to stop it becoming unbearable some days.

Here is a little list of my pain tools:

1. Heat. Heat helps my pain levels and is probably my most used form of pain relief. I have a heated electric underblanket on my bed. Heated throws on my sofa, a heat and massage pad, long water bottles and when out and about I sometimes use the sticky heat pads ( these aren’t always useful as my pain is over such a large area). Obviously these aren’t cheap and also the majority of them use an electric power source which as we know is expensive these days.

2. Water. The only time I get real relief for a period of time is when I am fully submerged in the bath. Being able to soak in the hot tub is also beneficial but a rarity these days as they cost so much to power and heat.

3. Magnesium sprays. The best way to absorb magnesium is through your skin so I buy a spray from Amazon and spray on my legs when the pain is severe. It does give an uncomfortable tingling sensation and unfortunately this can interrupt my sleep at times and definitely do not recommend using straight after shaving your legs!

4. Capsaicin cream. I get this on prescription from my GP. Recently it has been hard to source in the strength I need it due to national shortages. The cream is made from chillier and is quite burny to say the least. Also don’t forget to wash it off before a soak in the bath as it can be incredibly painful when added to hot water.

5. Clothing. Weirdly clothing has a big impact on my pain, I get extreme skin sensitivity and often tight gym style leggings are the best option as anything loose rubbing on my skin feels like it’s touching sunburn. Other days then I cannot tolerate the tightness on my legs so I wear bamboo pyjamas as it is the best fabric against my skin. Jeans are mostly a no go.

6. Massage or vibration. I have a heat and massage pad and also a vibro plate. Some days this helps enormously other days the pain is too much to tolerate the vibration.

7. A decent mattress. I have had to invest in a bamboo mattress topper, a new mattress was a bit outside my stretch financially but this mattress topper means I feel less pressure on my joints and is helping with my sleep too as lots of pain means you get very very tired.

8. Rest. Long COVID is one of the only illnesses where you are not advised to push yourself a little more each today to get fitter and healthier. In fact it will 9 times out of 10 make you feel worse. You have to rest but when in pain rest is difficult so this one is a bit of a battle.

9. Support. You need support from family and friends when you are in constant high levels of pain. My family are amazing and help with school runs and food shopping and I wouldn’t cope without them.

10. Taking care of mental health. Chronic pain can cause huge issues with mental health, feeling like you have no way out or no signs of improvement can make you feel incredibly low so you need to find your coping mechanisms and speak to your doctor to manage this.

Do you have any tips for dealing with chronic pain? I’d love to hear any that you have and if any one needs advice or a chat about long COVID feel free to comment or drop me an email.

How To Help Boost Your Child’s Confidence At School

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Boosting your child’s confidence in the school environment is helpful as it will encourage them to learn and enable them to believe in themselves.

If your child lacks confidence and you want to help them improve it in school, here are some tips to help with that.

Help to change their bad behavior

No child is perfect. Every child will have their naughty days, some more than others. 

It can be difficult to admit that your child can be naughty. Yet, accepting the truth will allow you to deal with it and do what is best to improve your child’s behavior. Your child might act naughty in school to cover up their lack of confidence. Sooner or later, this act will disappear and their vulnerability will show. 

Therefore, it is a smart idea to help them improve their behavior now so they can be nicer at school and slowly build their confidence by being their true self.

Continue education at home

Some children might lack confidence at school due to having slow learning abilities or not understanding certain subjects. 

Your child might struggle with science and, therefore, lack confidence in these lessons. To improve this, it is a great idea to show and teach them science resources at home. 

For example, a phases of the moon science lesson is a great way to teach your child how the moon orbits the earth. Although they might be educated on such phenomena at school, you can further their education at home and ensure they understand it completely. The more you teach them at home, the more educated they can be going into the classroom. Greater knowledge and understanding will enhance their learning and help them feel more confident at school.

Use positive language

Using positive language will make your child feel more confident as it enables them to accept what you tell them. 

For example, telling them they are capable of passing an exam will help them feel more confident going into the exam. You believing in them will encourage them to believe in themself. 

Mindful activities

Practicing mindful activities is a great way to reduce anxiety and improve confidence. 

Walking, exercising, reading, and meditation are all things a child can do to practice breathing techniques and feel more centered, which will aid in improving confidence. They can take this attitude with them into everyday life as well as school.

Encourage them to ask for help

Raising a more confident child can come from encouraging them to ask for help. As a child, they might fear asking for help because they do not see their friends do it. However, the more help your child asks for, the more they can feel supported and understand subjects at school.

It is not a bad thing to raise a hand and ask a teacher to explain the subject further. In fact, it shows dedication and eagerness to learn. Hence, encourage your child to ask for help in school so they can improve their learning and confidence.

Mothering Sunday Gift Guide 2023

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Let’s be honest if anyone needs to be spoiled it’s your mam. Mothers generally take on the majority of life stresses and worries and they deserve to be well looked after on Mothering Sunday ( and every other day of the year). I’ve put today a little collection of Mothering Sunday gifts which I think you’ll like. Let me know if you have any great ideas as I’m always on the lookout for more.

First up bath, body and home care brand ARRAN Sense of Scotland. I’ve tried a few of these products and love their After The Rain bath salts. I am a sucker for a bath product and these are excellent.

Next we have Gin In A Tin who have a great selection of gift ideas for Mother’s Day including these cute gift boxes with a selection of unusual flavoured gins.

Books. In my opinion books are always a great idea. Some options below:

Once A Mother Always A Mother which looks into the relationships as your child becomes an adult.

Rock n Roll Nanny is another great read exploring the fascinating life of Sally Arnold.

Or maybe a crime thriller is their cup of tea. The Binding Room is a crime thriller which will keep you on the edge of your seat.

Pretty You London are a brand I’ve tried recently and I recommended their PJs in my Valentines Guide but I love them so much I thought I’d share again. Made of bamboo fabric they feel so good against the skin.

Nomo chocolates have you sorted if you need vegan or gluten free chocolate treats. Why not try their discovery box?

Buy a gift have a wide selection of last minute gift ideas, from hotel vouchers to subscription. I love the idea of getting someone the Glossy Box subscription for a gift that lasts all year.

Slated Homewares are a brand I’ve followed for quite some time and they have just released their Brass Candle trio. It is truly beautiful and would fit in any home, I can just imagine it on my dinner table.

Amonax have these exercise resistance bands set for workout– natural latex elastic bands for whole body exercises. An easy portable way to exercise as they literally fit in your pocket.

To be honest I’d be quite satisfied with a nice breakfast in bed and a lazier day than normal surrounded by my loved ones. What do you like to have for Mother’s Day?

*Some items in this guide were gifted.

Time Changes Everything – Long Covid Update

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When I look at how much my life has changed these past few years it can be easy to get a little bit low, frustrated and even angry but my life has changed also in some positive ways also so I am trying hard to focus on those aspects and most days it does work.

I have like many others suffered with mental health issues over my adult life, I have struggled with anxiety and depression on many occasions and although these things never really go away I have learned that I know far better these days how to cope.

In the last 2.5 years I have had serious physical health issues from Long COVID after getting my first Covid infection prior to vaccination in October 2020. I was the first person I knew to get Covid in my area and it was frightening, I was very unwell and as a single parent I was for the vast majority of it alone. It damaged my physical and mental health in many ways. Since that time I have been slowly and steadily getting more and more symptomatic of long Covid and previously when I’ve hit these kind of bumps in the road my mental health has been massively impacted, right now it’s not always easy but these days I do have a handle on it.

I credit that to being in a healthy, loving relationship as well as having the most incredible children who give me a reason to smile each and every day. I am stronger because of them. I am stronger for them. I have a great supportive network of the very best family and friends and I don’t know where I would be without all of that.

Long COVID is a debilitating illness. I went from being probably the healthiest I had been in my adult life, going to the gym several times a week and walking between 15-25000 steps every single day to now some days struggling with getting about the house. I can’t do any type of serious fitness activity right now and for a long time keeping fit and walking was my coping mechanism for when I was anxious. I don’t have that any more and I miss it. I miss my body feeling strong and healthy, I miss being able to do a long walk or chasing my kids around the garden. I am in pain more or less all day, every day. Pain levels vary but are steadily getting worse, my mobility can be compromised. My legs are weak, my skin feels so sensitive that even loose clothes can hurt. I can only compare this feeling to as if I have sunburn all over and the pain in my legs feels like toothache in the bones. Some days, more frequently now my legs give way or go numb and this is beyond frightening. I am not yet 40 but my body feels it has aged so much. I worry my partner will get frustrated with this and that it has affected his life too much, yet deep down I know he loves me and supports me in this. Love is constant and not in good times only. I hide the majority of my pain from my children, yet they still see a grimace here and there or notice when I stumble on days when my legs are weak. They worry me about me I know this, I hate this. I reassure them often but my youngest will often say when will your Long COVID be over mam? And the answer unfortunately is I don’t know. But soon I say, hopefully soon.

Doctors are frustrated too, they can’t help the way they want to. I am intolerant to every pain med which would help, nerve pain tablets, strong pain relievers and even most of the SSRI tablets which can also help in these cases. I can’t even take anti inflammatory meds. I manage my pain (poorly) with capsaicin cream ( a type of chilli based nerve pain reliever) paracetamol, long , hot baths and more or less constant heat or massage pads on when I am rest. I am on several waiting lists, neurology and pain clinics amongst them. I was too unwell to complete long COVID rehab clinic and was advised to stop by the medical team. The pain management clinic, the thing I need most right now I was informed last week that I have 1 year remaining on the waiting list. A year, a whole twelve months with no resolution to this pain, it almost seems too much to handle. I knew this news would possibly make me spiral a little into a low place so I decided to write about it, I know that writing is also for me a form of therapy and I know it may help others too. Yet even what used to flow easily for me, the content, the words they are hard to find as a lovely little side effect of long COVID is brain fog, poor concentration and severe fatigue. For someone who has been a bookworm all her life and therefore always had a multitude of words sometimes they literally just disappear or they make no sense. It is scary. Yet I am still determined not to let this illness become who I am. It is a part of me, that I cannot change, it is now classed as a disability as I have had this for over 2 years yet I cannot give into it entirely. I still have to fight even if the only way to do that right now is mentally.

Long Covid Long Haulers are people who had ongoing symptoms for 12 weeks or more but it was expected to last only for up to six months. Many long haulers are now in their third year of symptoms with no end in sight.

If you know someone who has been affected by long COVID, please take the time to research it, it is in many ways an invisible illness yet it is destroying lives and people like me, very normal previously healthy people ( more often than not women between 30-50) are having such massive changes to their lives because of it. Be there for them. Show support. Try to understand it. I have a support network, many do not and the stories I see on the LC support groups are horrifying. COVID killed many and LC is continuing to change lives. If you know someone who has it and could benefit from reading this, please share. But above all please try to help understand this illness because many do not even some people who I know and love have belittled it unintentionally and that is very hard to take. It is very real.

Valentine’s Gift Guide 2023

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The time of love is almost upon us and the scrabble to find the perfect gift is here. Worry not I have some great gift ideas from traditional gifts to something a little different.

For the traditional at heart Eflorist have incredibly beautiful bouquets. I love this 12 rose bouquet which comes with free chocs too!

For the person in your life who is still a big kid at heart why not opt for one of these amazing scooters from Micro-Scooters. They have an amazing selection and you can even buy a scooter to match with your kids. MicroScooters also have an incredible scheme called Scooter Aid, this is what they say about it:

The premise is simple. Every Micro Scooter is built to last. So when your child has outgrown theirs, send it back to us and we’ll do the rest.We revamp and rehome your used Micro Scooter with children in need across the UK. Every pre-loved scooter you donate to us is another child we can help.

Maybe your other half is a bookworm and there are some great picks here if so:

Rock n Roll Nanny:

A story of how Sally Arnold entered the world of rock n roll stars:

Once a mother, always a mother: Being a mother doesn’t stop when your kids grow up it just changes. This book explores this:

The Binding Room is the follow up book to The Jigsaw Man from bestselling author Nadine Matheson, perfect for people who enjoy thrillers:

Red Letter Days have a wide variety of gift experiences and letter box gifts, you could opt for a luxury hotel stay or something as simple yet thoughtful as a letterbox cheese subscription.

I’m a candle lover, well candle obsessed some may say and I adore these strongly scented candles from The Copenhagen Company:

I will always be happy with good pyjamas for any occasion and Pretty You London sell a range that normally only look super cute but feel great on your skin, made from Bamboo they can help regulate temperature and the fabric is soft and great for anyone with skin issues or nerve pain for this very reason.

* Items in this guide have been gifted for the purpose of this post.